Mormon dating service

What do you think is happening in my brain! (TW: self-harm, suicide, EDs)

2020.11.29 03:03 megan8789 What do you think is happening in my brain! (TW: self-harm, suicide, EDs)

Hi dudes! My name is Meg, I’m a 20 y/o cis female. This will be a very long, fragmented description of myself.
I’ve always felt there is something wrong with me, since turning 11. Age 7 to 11, I secretly watched a lot of porn, played porn games, some hentai and lots of lesbian stuff, and I was very ashamed and secretive about it, as I was raised in a very religious Mormon family, and I knew it was “wrong” way back then from the conversations in church and w/ family. I had a quite financially stable family, as far as I could tell. My dad is a computer engineer working at the same company for 25 years, and he seems kinda into appearances, I feel pressure to be attractive from him. My mom is pretty cheerful, just slightly overweight (overweight is beautiful imo) but we don’t vibe sometimes.
My life has greatly been involved involuntarily with the Mormon church, going to meetings twice a week and my default friends were usually Mormon until high school, where my friends were instead the angsty, stylish & gay kids. I had a mostly normal childhood, played lots of open-ended video games like Minecraft, Sims, Animal Crossing, Spore, etc. and sometimes Zelda or anything i could get my hands on.
I have always felt quite ugly. I feel very wrong in my body. I love feeling desired in a possibly concerning way, like by the older mentally unstable men & women where i work or sketchy dudes and ladies or random people. I like trans and nonbinary people, they are attractive to me, not sure why. I also like unique-seeming individuals, that’s probably part of it. I am bisexual or pan or whatever.
I often really want to eat so much and get lost in the sexy food. Food sometimes feels like the most alluring thing in the world and nothing else seems very fun compared to it. I attempt to try new things, or go out and do stuff but most things are quite unenjoyable to me, i feel this general discontent and “aghhh” feeling in me, like this irritation in my sternum. This feeling is almost always there, and it drives my consistent desire to cut myself deeply on my arms and legs, cutting words into them, phrases like “end me” or “FUCK,” and I get violent images or desires in my head for someone to chop me head into pieces or brutally smash it with a hammer or throw me off a cliff onto a highway below or violently destroy me in any way, I guess I just feel pain in my head and body and i want it destroyed.
I often feel lonely and consumed by these feelings, and empty, and I just want to fill the holes with food which I purge. I’ve been in eating recovery centers for bulimia. I sometimes hate the thought of people seeing my body or face and it makes it very hard to get out of bed, and I have been obsessed with the idea of plastic surgery to the point of selling my body to older men (I stopped that and tested negatively for STDs, phew). The thought of gaining fat around my jawline or stomach makes me absolutely terrified and like the world would implode. I love going to the gym to gain muscle. I have a crush (a nonbinary lesbian my age at my Mormon school, goes by they/them) and we’ve hung out one-on-one for like 24 hours in all (like 7 dates) but I feel like I’m obsessed with them and taking on all their interests and thinking about them causes me anxiety because I think I need to be doing this or that or watching this or learning that so I can talk to my crush about it.
I am like a blank template because there is like nothing that I’m very interested in because i just don’t enjoy much of anything, like I don’t enjoy watching tv or movies or playing games or doing hobbies or drawing or cooking, everything just makes me want to die lowkey. I am obviously dramatic in my head. I think I’m impulsive, and compulsive when it comes to feeling the need to exercise or purge or eat a ton or cut. I am often dangerous when it comes to driving or running alone at night outside and recently I’ve started shoplifting a little. I HATE spending money, like any money. I also eat out of the trash sometimes, because I have no gross factor except with morally disgusting things like rape or murder, and I like to try new foods and “build a strong immune system,” and I’m just obsessed with food and a despicable human being, haha...
I have a job at a mental hospital where I take care of middle aged and older people by helping serve meals or change their briefs or supplying them with a myriad of needs and i like it, sometimes a lot. I’ve had a lot of dumb small jobs in the past that lasted less than three months but this one seems to be lasting longer, unless I decide I hate it as well, but I don’t think I will for awhile. I like being at the service of people who make me feel less lonely in feeling not neurotypical, and I like moving around a lot. I might become a nurse in the future. Thinking about my future career options has often been a humongous cause of stress in my life.
I am trying to hang out more with my two closest friends besides my crush, which hanging with my crush has sparked this because I really don’t want my crush to be my only friend, sounds hella unhealthy, had a relationship like that at age 15 (another nonbinary lesbian) and haven’t had a relationship since. Otherwise, before these last few months, besides a few temporary people my age who lived nearby just because I needed someone, my parents have been my only close confidants by default, which is immature because I don’t like them very much sometimes, and I can be explosive around them because I get this anger that doesn’t come from anywhere and sometimes won’t seem to go away around them. I am the youngest of four, and act like it when we’re all together, like an angsty teenager although I’m 20.
I live in Provo, Utah because I was recently going to BYU, a Mormon school. From age 17-19, I became very conservative in every way and obsessed with the church and praying 24/7 in my head, so I chose to go to the “Lord’s school.” It’s been hard to find a community though now that I’ve become an Agnostic atheist, surrounded by a lot of conservative people with modest outfits who are almost all lovely and kind people but I don’t feel like I vibe with them, and I think this feeling of being “unique” or whatever is a negative thing because it just makes me feel lonely. I have gone through phases of trying to fit in with “normal” or success-oriented or clean-cut and popular people.
I do feel a cavity in me now that I feel God doesn’t exist as I thought God did, and idk how to fill this spiritual void. I try to learn about new age spirituality or witchcraft or any unorganized religion, but it’s so hard to pay attention while learning about it, and maybe I just need organized so I can get more ritual practices and a sense of spiritual community.
I do like to learn, anything about other humans and how they feel. I love the Knowledge Project podcast, I love slam poetry, I like volunteering to figure out what I’m good at and pass the time “productively.” love podcasts and reading nonfiction and sometimes fiction to get lost in a world, helps the sadness a lot.
I have tried many different medications to no avail (besides Prozac from age 13-15, and Pristiq from 17-19) and I have a therapist but the therapy sessions never feel long enough.
Other random things: I can be very goofy and happy, and I sometimes have a pretty sarcastic, random or wholesome sense of humor, depending on my mood/who I’m with. My past therapist tested me with this comprehensive general test and I was like 2 points away from being on the autism spectrum, 1-60 is neurotypical, 60-100 was autistic, and I was 58. I also got high scores in depression, ADHD, a tendency for anorexia, and I was extremely “feminine” on a feminine/masculine scale.
That was a ton of information so I’ll be surprised if anyone reads or answers.
What are your thoughts? What do you think is happening in my head? Thank you SO MUCH to anyone who read this!
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2020.11.22 08:23 alfalfaef [F4A] 27F I have some trauma, love me anyway?

Heyo, hiyo. My name's Ryn (not full name, but a nickname)! I'm 27 and I live in Southern Utah. I feel like I have a lot to say here... more than usual, which means I'm going to be talking for several paragraphs lol. So fair warning!!
In order for you to understand where I'm coming from with this post, I feel I should give some background. I grew up in a cult (Mormonism) and although I was mentally out by the time I was 14, it took me a long time to come out to my family (as both an atheist and as bisexual). I removed my records a couple of years ago (if you don't believe that Mormonism is a cult, I had to go through an attorney to get my records removed.... so that should tell you something lmao). Even though my experiences in the church weren't nearly as negative as a lot of other people, the culture still severely impacted me and effected me as an individual in a lot of ways. I've had a lot of other things happen to me that don't have to do with religion that have impacted me in similar ways, but a lot of this happened is a sort of cohabitive fashion; one thing fed into the other, fed into the other, into the other, in a pretty vicious cycle. The result is that I'm massively shy, introverted to the extreme (I can go for days without seeing a person and just be like... totally fine tbh, and I get overwhelmed in social situations within a short amount of time), I don't trust easily, and it takes me a long, long time to get comfortable with people enough that I can be myself. I also suffer from depression and pretty severe generalized anxiety, in addition to two chronic illnesses.
I didn't go on a date until I was about 21, and I didn't have my first relationship until this year. That was a hugely eye-opening experience for me, and I understand a lot more about myself, and yet there's a lot I don't understand now that I thought I did. Isn't that the fun part of growing as a person xD My relationship only lasted three months and I broke up with the other person because I saw a lot of red flags in him that I wasn't comfortable with or willing to tolerate. It was also a case of.... thinking I wanted one thing in a significant other and a relationship, and realizing that wasn't what I actually wanted.
SO all that is to say that I'm currently on a journey of self-discovery and trying to figure out what I really want. I'm in this conundrum where I do want to be in a relationship, but the journey of actually getting to know people is exhausting to me. Not because I don't want to, but because my anxiety gets the best of me, and because sometimes I feel like it takes me so long to really be myself that I can accidentally present myself as one way when really I'm another, and so by the time I really start to develop a close relationship with someone I feel like an imposter almost. I've never really felt like someone understood me in a really deep, genuine way. And I guess that's what I'm really looking for - someone to understand me and accept me for all the weirdness that is me, and someone I can do the same for. I make up a lot of excuses in my head for why I shouldn't get to know people, or why they aren't genuine in wanting to get to know me, and it can be really difficult for me to get past that. But I'm getting better at it. And I want to continue getting better.
So! I guess all that is to say that I'm a bit of a mess, but I'm working on it lmao, as I'm sure a lot of us are. Additionally to say that... I don't really know what I want here. Friends absolutely, but while my ultimate goal is to be in a relationship with someone, I don't want to put that pressure on whatever happens here. So someone to talk to and get to know, and if something more happens? Cool! And if not? I need more friends anyway lol. I go through periods of wanting to talk all the time, and then periods where I'm just... not wanting to talk to anyone at all except my cat rofl, so fair warning.

NOW THAT ALL OF THAT IS OUT OF THE WAY, SOME STUFF ABOUT ME THAT ISN'T SO DRAMATIC:

Once I get comfortable with someone, I tend to be really silly and goofy. I laugh easily and a lot (I have a loud laugh, too - people have told me repeatedly that they can hear me from across a building). I snort-laugh quite often. I've been told that I should start charging people for my services: Follow them around and laugh at all their jokes to boost their confidence. Lucrative business idea, right?! I get really excited about things and cry a lot. New music? I'll cry. I wept like a baby when I saw Coco, when I read The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson (don't get me stARTED unless you want to hear a long-winded ramble about how Dalinar Kholin is the best character of all time, don't @ me), and I'm basically a big mess whenever I talk about Harry Potter (especially now that JK Rowling is a confirmed transphobe... I have some feelings). I feel things deeply, basically. I'm a wuss.
I think the simplest way to sum my personality up is to say if I were a Vine, I'd be this one because I do this annoying thing in my daily life. I like to talk in all caps over text, and in person, about 80% of my vocabulary consists of weird facial expressions and sound effects. I think I'm a master of making myself look like an idiot to make people laugh, so there's that. I have one of those weird senses of humor where I find almost anything funny, and puns make me cry-laugh. I like humor that's super pure, and really dark humor.
I also love stories of all kinds, but especially in the form of movies and books. I do like TV shows, too, but I have a harder time getting into them because of the time commitment. If it's something that's complex with amazing characters and fantastic writing, though, I'm hooked (Avatar: The Last Airbender, anyone?). I love, love, love watching movies with people I like, especially if it's a movie they've never seen that I love, because I really like knowing what people think about things and if they like it, it makes me happy that I introduced it to them. So, like, please wanna watch movies with me. Especially horror movies. And maybe true crime shows. And documentaries. And a lot of stuff.
I'm also an author! I've published a short story in a local literary journal, so I'm not that far yet in my career and I'm faaar from being a professional author, but I'm working on my first novel/series. I tend to stay indoors a lot because I feel like being a writer naturally makes me averse to spending too much time outside lmao, but I have some health things that keep me from doing a lot of physical activity anyway. Feel free to ask me about it, if you want!
I always forget to add this, but I'm also VERY INVESTED in music. I sing and play piano (and guitar a bit, but I'm super novice lmao), and I get hardcore into bands/artists I love. So, there's that lmao. Another fun fact about me: I have 13 tattoos (and am itching to get more). My next is going to be a tribute to Rush, which I always intended to get, but after spending an afternoon lying on my living room floor, listening to Rush, and crying over Neil Peart, I've decided it's gotta be next lmao.
If you're interested in messaging me, you should know that I'm unsure of where I want to settle down at present, but there is a good chance I'll want to move to the WA/OR area in the next several years. I'm almost positive I want kids (but not biologically mine, for a lot of reasons you can ask me about if you'd like). A lot of people on this sub don't seem to want children, so I feel this important to mention. Additionally, I'm fairly positive that I'm asexual. I'm not averse to sex necessarily, but I'm just not always... terribly interested lmao. Other dealbreakers: I'd prefer someone close to my age (I'm more open to several years older than younger, though), and I'm not interested if you smoke (including vaping). Nothing to do with tobacco in general, I'm just not interested in having the smoke around me. TBH I'm also not interested in dating someone religious; I'm happy for you if it makes you happy, but I am... uncomfortable with religion as a general rule. LDR is totally fine with me to start with, but of course if this goes anywhere, I'd love to be in the same place eventually! Also, it'd be awesome to do skype calls or voice chat on discord or something in the future, when we're both comfortable.
Other than the above, I'm open to anyone regardless of gender, location, etc. I KNOW THIS WAS SO MUCH TEXT so if you got through all of it and are still interested, kudos to you and hi xD
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2020.11.18 14:33 juniperraincloud A service missionary losing it

Hi y'all. I don't want to be part of the church anymore and this is why. I was born and raised in the church. I am currently a service missionary (which means that I do not proselyte, I just do occasional service projects and live with my family).
I have had this best friend for years, and we will call him "JD" He and I have been very good friends for years, but as we soon found out, we had our differences. He was Christian, and I was a Mormon (lds). Recently (and this is totally unrelated to my faith and such) I realized that I had feelings for him, more than a friend. I thought they would eventually go away, but they have been consistent for months. Being friends, I decided to open up to him about it. I knew that we were good enough friends that me telling him about my feelings would not affect the close friendship that we already had. After opening up to him about how I felt, he very kindly told me that he doesn't date people outside of his religion, and that he still appreciated me as a friend. I was satisfied with this answer and felt relieved that our friendship would continue.
But then JD asked me something that changed everything. He asked me if I was happy as a Mormon. And at that exact moment, my perception of my "perfect Mormon life" that I had shattered. I realized that no, I was not happy. I also realized that I have been doubting for a very long time. While it was triggered by my friend, I knew that I have had doubts for many years. I felt like I had woken up from a nightmare. I realized that I did not truly have a relationship with God, and that I was very unhappy in my current church.
I asked close friends for help. I have an older sister who has left the church, who I have also asked for support. JD sent me the link to yesterday's online service for his non-denominational Christian church. Never have I felt such peace concerning the topic of marriage! It is a topic that I have always struggled with.
I did not realize how the Mormon church has affected me. While there are many good things about it, I realized that I was being "brainwashed." Now I want out. My family has been in this church for generations, and when my sister left, she was disowned by my grandparents, and my parents do not allow her to speak of religion in their house. I know that if I try to leave, the church will fight to hold on to my records. I have been endowed (been through the temple) so it will be extra difficult to leave. I am not sure what to do, and I was hoping to get advice.
submitted by juniperraincloud to exmormon [link] [comments]


2020.11.14 13:30 readingrachelx Housewife highlights/Daily shit talk - November 14th, 2020

NEW YORK
"An average week for Sonja Morgan, star of the Real Housewives of New York City, might begin with a nose job. They can do it now without any surgery at all: She says Ramtin Kassir just puts a little bit of filler to even out the bridge in profile. Her nose is a family heirloom — "The chicken face," she calls it. "It's a very signature family look." — charmingly but fiercely straight, in the manner of a young conservative politician. She looks nothing if not American.
Wednesday she's getting her eyebrows done with Victoria at the Julien Farel salon. She's been seeing Victoria for 30 years, back when she worked at the Frédéric Fekkai salon in Bergdorf Goodman. Then she followed her to Fekkai's salon at Henri Bendel. Remember Henri Bendel? But anyways she's at Julien Farel now, which is at the Regency. It is a gorgeous space, a symphony of beiges, but frankly, Victoria could be working at the bottom of the Mariana Trench and Sonja would plunge through miles of ocean to see her, because her eyebrows are sisters, not twins, but Victoria knows how to even them out.
There might be an interview, or a photoshoot, and on this particular Wednesday there might be both. There might also be a veneer cleaning. The rest of the week is still kind of up in the air. The doctor that did Morgan's nose on Tuesday wants to try something involving the exchange of nose cartilage, but Morgan still needs to Google it and do her research. (Morgan ultimately canceled the appointment.)
This year is Morgan's tenth as a cast member on the Real Housewives of New York City. The gist of the show is that a woman will convert certain aspects of her private life into public entertainment for the millions who watch the reality network Bravo (and the millions more who watch them online, follow them on Instagram, and tweet at them during tapings to demand explanations for their behavior) while also supporting a family and possibly working on additional business ventures.
Each Housewives cast assembles a sampler platter of rich, power-adjacent women of a particular American (or, at one moment in history, Australian) city, who then represent that city on the world stage in a kind of yearslong televised pageant. (Unlike the pageant system, there are no winners in the Housewives universe.) The women's backgrounds illustrate the particular ruling classes of each locality — Beverly Hills features a large contingent of Hollywood actors; many of the wives of New Jersey are of Italian descent. Many of New York's housewives have links to political oligarchy: the current Housewife and former countess Luann de Lesseps, the former Housewife and former Kennedy spouse Carole Radziwill. In 2006, Morgan separated from John Adams Morgan Jr., the great-grandson of J.P. Morgan and a descendent of presidents John Adams and John Quincy Adams. Four years later, she joined the show for its third season.
Before her marriage, Morgan was a model, who exported her classically American good looks abroad modeling Diesel denim in Milan. She made $150,000 a year working as a fit model, spending her time smoking cigarettes, and drinking Prosecco before returning to American shores to more or less do the same thing. The European people, according to Morgan, taught her how to look good and eat well and enjoy life. More specifically, they taught her to eat slowly at meals. "Enjoy the people you’re with in life," she says. According to Morgan, she and her ex-husband ate most of their meals "at home," presumably referring to their transcontinental network of real estate with outposts in Telluride, Provence, and New York City.
Say what you want about Sonja Morgan, but it is probably unoriginal and thus worth keeping to yourself. Her decade-long reality TV career is, if nothing else, a public library of human experiences, as Morgan's triumphs and non-triumphs are blended and presented as entertainment to an unrelenting audience. Not that Morgan needs for storylines: She is a hilarious presence on the show. At times she operates like a self-aware(-ish!) caricature of an Upper East Side socialite, hiring NYU undergraduates as interns to work around her townhouse, or getting too drunk prior to a gala, but she is a professional. She is ready to dance on a table if a table needs to be danced on, or openly divulge information of a carnal nature if it’ll make for a better interview. Morgan knows how to be consumed. She attempts to add spice wherever possible.
"People always want to know the crazy things I take," Morgan says. She is rummaging through some walk-in cupboard or nutrition wing of her Upper East Side townhouse, identifying her various supplements. Morgan is a radiant 56, having spent the last three decades fastidiously maintaining her appearance as a model and later as a television star. She credits this to an inside-out approach to beauty, literally, beginning with "poop pills." "If you're not going three, four times a day, you're not going to look great," she says. "Raquelle?" Raquelle is an intern. "What else do I take?"
Morgan takes calcium, magnesium, vitamins D and B12, prebiotics, probiotics, alkaline mineral water, electrolyte powder, collagen-based protein, cocoa powder — "It gets the endorphins going. You feel like you’re shopping. Or having sex!" — maca powder, taurine, guanine…
Morgan realizes this is a long list, so she edits to what she considers the essentials. “I can't stress enough this potassium, magnesium, calcium and [vitamin] Bs,” she advises. “And maca powder, which you can put in your shakes. And digestive enzymes. Very important.”
Also important: Sunday Riley Luna oil, applied at night to lure fresh cells to the surface of her skin, and SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic serum, which protects those cells throughout the day from the Upper East Side air pollution that threatens their radiance. Morgan is also refreshingly candid about her experiences with cosmetic surgery. She recently got a face and neck lift from Andrew Jacono, whose office sits nearly directly across the street from the Park Avenue Armory. "Over the years, I just got tired of the trout mouth," she says. "I did the threads twice, but it was just lifting the drapes. So I said, 'Let's do it' Even Dr. Kassir when I went to him yesterday, he was like, 'Well, we wish we did it,' you know? You've got to go to a different doctor for different things. Dr. Jacono does two face lifts a day."
Daunted by the cosmetic scrutiny that accompanies public life — or, perhaps, as a result of "just drinking a lot of water and getting plenty of rest!" — many Housewives adjourn a season of filming, only to return to the events of the next season with entirely different facial features, eyes distinctively more catlike, preposterously sized Hollywood lips where there once were Scottish-Welsh ones. Many of Morgan's features, including her jagged, patrician nose, look more or less the same that they did when joined Real Housewives of New York City in Season 3. Dr. Kassir has "been trying to do my nose jobs for years," Morgan says. The full monty, that is, in which the nose is renovated from within, as opposed to the molecule-sized monties she receives via injection. "But I told you, I like my nose. I've yet to meet a doctor who can give me a nose I like."
Beauty professionals of every stripe and order will approach Morgan about adorning her with their services. Morgan responds by tirelessly researching and isolating the procedure or style they do best, at which point she either decides to try it or wait until somebody even more talented comes along. She says Sharon Giese, a plastic surgeon whose office is just slightly farther from the Park Avenue Armory, is currently courting her about some belly laser. She’s thinking about it. Right now, the roster includes Jacono on the neck, Victoria Veytsman on her teeth, Kassir kind of on the nose, and dermatologist Rachel Nazarian for Botox and filler. “I can’t tell you how many people bring in pictures of Sonja,” Nazarian says. “They say, ‘Whatever she is doing, I want that.”
SALT LAKE CITY
"Heather Gay's friends may describe her as the "life of the party," but for her, it's just the role she has to play. "I consider myself an introverted extrovert that acts like the life of the party so everyone else feels more comfortable," the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star tells Bustle, adding that she "kisses a lot of ass."
That's something you'll see her work on throughout the first season of RHOSLC, which premieres Nov. 11 on Bravo. "I really go along to get along until I kind of just get sick of it toward the end," Gay explains of what's to come, pointing to "some friction" with her costar and sometimes "sh*tty friend" Jen Shah, as well as the ongoing drama that "will never die" with her former BYU classmate Lisa Barlow. "Usually I would just put up with it because that's what I've always been trained to do. But I'm finally starting to say what I really want to say and how I really feel."
Heather is "totally single" after going through a difficult divorce with her husband of 11 years in 2015, though she says they now "get along fine." Her ex's grandfather was Howard Hughes' driver and inherited a large portion of the businessman's estate, which makes the Gays "Mormon royalty" who are "worth billions," Heather says. So it comes as little surprise that she's "always had an affinity for" RHONY's Sonja Morgan and relates to her divorce.
RHOSLC will show Heather navigating the dating world once again, and she has a clear idea of what she wants in her next relationship. "I'm looking for anyone who's completely inappropriate and damaged and under the age of 30," she jokes. "I look for love from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. I just never find it."
Heather and her teen daughters — Ashley, 17, Georgia, 14, and Annabelle, 13 — are like "the four musketeers," she says. "They're 100% supportive and kind of caretake me as much as I'm their mom." With full custody, Heather is raising her kids on her own, while her ex "completely" financially supports them. "Our co-parenting is: I do the work and he pays the bills," she explains.
Don't expect to see much more of Heather's family on the show, though. She says her parents and siblings are "cool, wonderful people" who love and support her, but view her becoming a Housewife as a "betrayal of their faith." "They see endorsing this type of adventure as kind of patting me on the back, saying 'good luck on your way to hell,'" she says.
Though Heather was raised as a Mormon, she now describes herself as "Mormon-ish." She had a reawakening of sorts after her divorce and decided to stop attending church (which violates the compulsory attendance policy). "I've gotten to the point where I can't endorse doctrine that is completely opposite of how I feel, and I can no longer rationalize it " she explains, citing the Mormon church's stance on gay marriage and not allowing Black members to become priests. "How can I participate in a church that is absolutely discriminatory and says God loves all people, except for the gays? The doctrine is essentially that you can't go to heaven unless you're married, straight, and very, very righteous."
Still, Heather says she loves her community and believes it will always be a part of her identity.
After initially "doing photography and social media in exchange for Botox" because her ex-husband oversaw her budget, Heather began running the cosmetic medical practice Beauty Lab + Laser, which is now valued at over $20 million. She used money from her divorce settlement to join the company as a partner before totally buying out the business, which offers injectables, laser treatments, and skincare, among other services. Their goal is to allow women to invest in themselves without shame or stigma. "If you want giant lips, if you want a frozen face, if you want to be smooth like a dolphin without one shred of hair, we don't have any agenda other than to provide customer service," Heather explains.
Heather mostly posts about her friends and family on Instagram, though she says she's attracted her fair share of trolls. "The trolling is real, but it is nothing in comparison to the love and support," she says. "And it's very easy to ignore the trolls when you have such an amazing Housewife fan base, so I try to just focus on that."
She also uses social media to talk about social justice movements like Black Lives Matter. Pointing to the percentage of white women who voted for Trump in 2020, Heather believes it's more important than ever to use her position of privilege to stand up rather than look the other way — especially in Utah, which "doesn't have a super diverse" population.
Heather loves Britney Spears and considers her a national treasure. "I think her Instagram posts are simultaneously horrifying and endearing, and I think that is the type of human being that we need to cradle and treasure and empower because she's provided us with decades of entertainment. For her to now have a conservatorship is absurd. No one's beyond redemption and no one should be manhandled like that and micromanaged. I think if we let Britney free, we'll see what she can really do."
POTOMAC
ORANGE COUNTY
“I don’t even really know what [a ‘sloppy chihuahua] actually is,” Gina joked while rehashing the fight during an EXCLUSIVE interview with HollywoodLife, following last week’s episode. “I really am just a person that is very chill until I’m pushed to the limit. It takes a lot, but then I’m like, ‘OK, I’ve had enough of this.'”
Gina explained that Braunwyn “was quite sloppy all last year, which obviously I did not know [at the time that] she was struggling with [alcoholism]. I had no clue. I just thought she was [being] a sloppy chihuahua.” And Gina didn’t like the way Braunwyn revealed that she was an alcoholic during last week’s episode. Especially because it came immediately after Gina had heard that the mom of seven allegedly shaded her for buying a small, “sad” and “depressing” house. Plus, Gina was still upset about Braunwyn’s husband Sean sending her a “creepy” text message. So Gina felt Braunwyn was trying to overshadow Gina’s own feelings about the house diss.
Gina explained, “I think what everyone needs to understand is the way I was told, was not sitting down on a couch with a woman who is telling me that she has this issue [like she did with Emily Simpson]. She was just attacking me. I tried really hard to ignore her quite frankly because I heard her reeling me out with Shannon and I knew she was in a tornado and I really didn’t want anything to do with it and I felt like she was attacking me and I was just defending myself. And even when she said, ‘I’m 30 days sober, bitch!’, I was thinking in my head, ‘So what? You did a cleanse?’ Does that undo all the times you were drinking heavily last year?”
“But I always looked at Braunwyn with what she presented it as,” Gina continued, “‘I breastfed all of these kids, I finally weaned.’ It was her first year on the show and it was, ‘Oh, it’s her freshman year.’ She’s just partying. So I didn’t ever know that and I really didn’t get that until we were obviously outside. But then when we were outside, I thought we were talking about the fact that you’ve been non-stop launching this attack on me unnecessarily and then that’s when she wanted to [reveal her secret]. I’m not even her good friend. I didn’t even need to know that. So it was kind of — I think it was just really bad timing, but once she did tell me that, it is what it is. It’s what I said exactly. Look, I do have compassion for her. I’m proud of you if you really have a problem and you’re deciding to address that. That is very commendable, but I’m not going to compromise my integrity because you’re finally confronting this problem.”
Now that everything has happened and it’s aired on TV, Gina says she would have gone about the situation completely differently. To start, she wouldn’t have screamed at Braunwyn and called her a ‘sloppy chihuahua’. She told us, “I never would have yelled in a grown woman’s face — who just [was] 30 days sober after battling the majority of her life with alcoholism — that she’s sloppy and go get drunk. It’s horrible!”
Gina added, I have compassion about [her situation]. Who wants to see a woman going through that? But I wasn’t privy to any of that information.”
“After I watched last week’s episode, I did text her and I just said very simply, I just want you to know despite everything that’s going on I just want you to know I wish you and your family the best. I have been there last year. I’d say my family was in crisis mode. No matter what your issues are or how big your issues are, no matter how big or small your house is, it’s very hard. She texted me back and said, ‘Thank you very much. I appreciate it,’ and that’s it. The bottom line is if Braunwyn needed me as a friend, I would be there, but I think bottom line is, Braunwyn’s never considered me a friend and doesn’t have any interest in being my friend and that’s OK. It’s alright. It is what it is,” Gina added."
BEVERLY HILLS
"Teddi Mellencamp is joined by her dad John for their first-ever interview together on her “Teddi Tea Pod” podcast.
Teddi asks her musician father whether he’s happy she’s no longer on “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”, to which he replies: “I’m terribly excited and happy that you are no longer part of the ‘Real Housewives’. I’ve never liked that you were on the ‘Real Housewives’.
“I tried to be supportive so I watched, but I can assure you I don’t watch it anymore.”
John continues, “I think that it’s great and I think that some of the women on the show are fantastic.
“But I don’t like people to know where I’m at, I don’t like people to know what I’m doing, I like to have privacy. That’s why I stick around my properties and don’t go anywhere."
“I don’t want to be a part of where everybody knows everything about everybody… I don’t know how you stood it,” he adds."
CHESHIRE
submitted by readingrachelx to RHDiscussion [link] [comments]


2020.11.14 04:01 ooooooooyeahhhhh Always felt this way

I grew up in a Mormon household. I always would ask questions in young men's. I would how is that even possible or why would it be like that ? The answer was you have to have faith. It never gave me validation. All my brothers and sisters went on to get baptized I never did. My parents got married in the temple. I was 10 I was not allowed to attend because I was not baptized.
As I got older I dated a girl that was Christian. I went to the services and just found it odd. They had a rock band and the service just felt weird. I let my girlfriends dad baptize me but felt nothing. Just felt like I was doing it to be a part of something. I read the Bible and just felt like I was reading a fantasy with impending doom and some make believe hero.
Move forward to 4 years ago my brother committed suicide I felt a lot of anger towards him and resented my parent , who were mew found Christians. He went to them and the reaction was you just have to pray! I could not beleive it. I had so much anger and animosity towards them for shunning someone away that was asking for help.
I found meditation in the coming years and found gurus who tought me about self care and compassion and love. I one person who stuck with me is sadhguru. It just taught me to have a different mindset. With my family ,work and every aspect of life. He made a point that will forever be engraved with me " people are of curious minds, if someone was before you and said i am God we will question it. With this type of mind we should not waste our energy" maybe not exact quote but thats what I get.
If you are struggling or have the slightest doubt about if there is a God or not its not worth stressing your life over it. Life is a gift of the universe and should be lived to its fullest potential. Sorry for a rant just wanted to get my story out a little.
submitted by ooooooooyeahhhhh to TrueAtheism [link] [comments]


2020.11.13 22:14 jw_mentions /r/iamatotalpieceofshit - "As someone who used to be a JW, please help this gain more attention"

I am a bot! Please send NotListeningItsABook a private message with any comments or feedback on how I work.
EDIT: As of Sun Nov 15 18:00:55 UTC 2020, the post is at [2535pts49c]

About Post:

--- --- Notes
Submission As someone who used to be a JW, please help this gain more attention
Comments As someone who used to be a JW, please help this gain more attention
Author UnsettlingAura
Subreddit /iamatotalpieceofshit
Posted On Fri Nov 13 18:02:26 UTC 2020
Score 2535 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:55 UTC 2020
Total Comments 76

Post Body:

n/a - not a self post

Related Comments (49):

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Author Jouzu
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:24:39 UTC 2020
Score 19 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:08 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
Body link
Yep, they are eagerly awaiting the killing of 99.9% of humankind, only they will survive Armageddon. The birds will eat the flesh of the unbelievers I think, heck of a clean up job otherwise... Imagine the immense joy of washing through piles of dead kids, yeah, that is whatJWs hope for.
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Author kiwi_scorpio
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:50:45 UTC 2020
Score 150 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:10 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 13
Body link
I'm a nurse here in New Zealand and if a pregnant JW has to have a caesarean section we have to set up a special suction unit called a cell saver. We suction up their blood as they proceed with the surgery and it gets filtered and put back into the patient. I've also been in situations where a JW has said to the doctor in front of their family members that they don't want blood, but as soon as they are away from their family members they let the doctor know that in fact they will have whatever will save their life.
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Author sactownox22
Posted On Fri Nov 13 20:51:30 UTC 2020
Score 26 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:12 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 7
Body link
So, only 1.7% of the google-estimated total of 8.4 millionJWs worldwide get to the promised land? That is some stiff competition.
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Author Havamar
Posted On Sat Nov 14 00:06:57 UTC 2020
Score 25 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:13 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
Body link
It's self-reported as "only they will know". They only have 144,000 seats in heaven available. The rest of the plebs are going to live forever on a paradise earth, after they clean up the 8 billion bodies after God kills everyone that isn't a JW at "Armageddon".
Any time I ever saw any "annointed" the other church members were talking behind their backs saying that they didn't really think they were.
It's kinda funny, and an oddly brutal belief system.
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Author arrian-
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:43:20 UTC 2020
Score 187 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:17 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 18
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well its not only with childbirth, theJW's have highlighted cases where children who need blood transfusions to live were taught to reject them by their parents because its "disrespectful to god"
their whole blood doctrine is complete bullshit, they say that you can't use blood because it represents life and if you *eat* blood you're disrespecting God's authority and disrespecting life. Which makes no sense, because if you respected life you'd give someone a blood transfusion if they needed it to live.
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Author YouDontKnowMe2017
Posted On Sat Nov 14 00:37:50 UTC 2020
Score 13 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:18 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
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They’re pieces of shit: https://www.npr.org/2020/01/09/795019348/montana-court-reverses-35-million-child-abuse-verdict-against-`jehovahs-witnesses`
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Author Vorian23
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:59:51 UTC 2020
Score 15 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:18 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
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That’s exactly what they do https://freedomofmind.com/the-bite-model-and-`jehovahs-witnesses`/
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Author cookingismything
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:15:42 UTC 2020
Score 30 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:19 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
Body link
I was never a JW but my husband was raised in the religion. My gut is saying the answer to your question is pretty simple. THEY DO NOT EVER WANT TO INVOLVE THE POLICE. You see, they take care of any little issues themselves. If there is a problem, you reach out to an elder or elders (those are the respected male leaders of their congregation) and they are so wide that they will know what to do. I’m so sorry for this young girl. My husband knows so many that have killed themselves because of this cult
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Author madgraffics
Posted On Fri Nov 13 20:12:52 UTC 2020
Score 248 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:20 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
Body link
Is your mom my mom? I got raised in that shit and my abuser was found guilty in a court of law but not disfellowshipped but my mom still thinks this is the end all b e all of religions (:

Edit: meant to put not not now
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Author U-Cranium
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:38:37 UTC 2020
Score 211 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:25 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 16
Body link
Not only this, Jehovah's Witness have a book they produce that's full of pictures of kids and stories of how they bravely chose to die instead of accept a transfusion. Fucking disgusting cult,happy I got out
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Author wanderingwomb
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:59:24 UTC 2020
Score 170 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:28 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 11
Body link
Knowing the cult I’m willing to bet after gaslighting her that it was consensual they then disfellowshipped her for having sex outside of marriage.
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Author sashay33
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:33:45 UTC 2020
Score 8 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:29 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
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exjw is a wealth of info
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Author LurkerTryingToTalk
Posted On Sat Nov 14 00:24:58 UTC 2020
Score 18 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:31 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 10
Body link
Freemasons describe their organization as a society with secrets, not a secret society.
Their buildings are not hidden, people are proud to be members and let people know. They mostly just do community service and stupid rituals. You can look up all their rituals online and they've been known for ages.
Fun fact, the Boy Scouts was started by Freemasons based on their principles as a sort of youth division.
Jehovah Witnesses are totally crazy.
Freemasons are mostly OK. In the UK you don't have to believe in a god to join but you do in the USA. Freemasons existed long before Jehovah Witnesses.
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Author razzyboss1
Posted On Sat Nov 14 00:34:31 UTC 2020
Score 31 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:31 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
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Yep definetly. My grandma (a JW) needed a blood transfusion during her surgery and a fucking JW president or something from her "church" insisted he'd be in the room to make sure she won't get a blood transfusion. Luckily the doctor didn't allow him and we had to (i'll probably get backlash for this but fuck it, might as well be honest) bribe the doctor to make sure he will do whatever is necessary to keep her safe. Fortunately the surgery was a success and she is doing much better now in case you're wondering!
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Author jaffakree83
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:37:36 UTC 2020
Score 57 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:34 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 35
Body link
Heh, my dad busted out the Bible and got into a religious debate with a JW and they never came around again.
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Author firegato
Posted On Fri Nov 13 23:44:18 UTC 2020
Score 82 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:35 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 20
Body link
Hold up. Jesus was like: "yo this wine is like my blood and shit. Pass it around and drink it." so... (I know dogma doesn't have to make sense) how in the F you gonna, through conjecture, arrive at such a Ludacris conclusion?JWs make up silly rules, that's why I'm glad I left that organization.
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Author brb_on_a_quest
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:23:54 UTC 2020
Score 23 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:36 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 4
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Ex-jw here also. Am disfellowshipped. I wish I could say this shit surprised me, but it’s par for the course. I think the JW’s are generally considered a joke, but it’s a dangerous and damaging cult.
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Author BooceAlmighty
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:11:21 UTC 2020
Score 14 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:37 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
Body link
It's always super old guys with the Jehovah's Witnesses in my area who've been going door to door. Except for the one time they started sending REALLY pretty girls together with an old man waiting nearby.
That was the only time I've purposely answered the door for Jehovah's Witnesses.
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Author ByCrookedSteps781
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:25:38 UTC 2020
Score 29 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:37 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
I would gladly beat the fuck outta that peice of shit, I used to be part of it till 5 or 6 untill my mum got disfellowshipped as a result of them finding out she had me out of wedlock, all it taught me was how much hypocrisy religion spews out. 28 years later my aunty who grew up JW and left after her marriage broke down only to become a lesbian hippy, all of a sudden decides she is no longer lesbian, renounces her former life and goes back to the church. Life is a weird experience.
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Author drunkennudeles
Posted On Sat Nov 14 00:45:09 UTC 2020
Score 8 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:39 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 6
Body link
Once the last person is admitted then theJWs rise from the grave to take this world for themselves while everyone else perished.
They also do communion but only people going to heaven drink it so they just pass a cup around the room with "jesus' blood" in it.
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Author CaterwaulOfDoom
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:12:30 UTC 2020
Score 15 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:40 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
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Many Christians dispute the idea that Jehovah's Witnesses are Christian because they don't believe that Jesus is God.
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Author Yurak_Huntmate
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:25:07 UTC 2020
Score 358 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:48 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 61
Body link
My mum got our house blacklisted by the jehovahs witnesses because she brought up the blood transfusion thing, she asked one of them if their child was dying and needed one would they give them it, they replied no, so she went off on them calling them scum, they never returned to our house
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Author uneducatedexpert
Posted On Sat Nov 14 00:23:35 UTC 2020
Score 35 as of Sun Nov 15 17:59:49 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
Body link
I was raised as a JW. I started getting molested at 6 by an older cousin. That continued until the age of 9, under threat, until I was able to gain the courage to tell my parents. They didn’t get me help as it would have brought reproach against god. At age 11 my maternal grandmother moved in and molested me as well, until 13. Again, there was no help. No counseling, no support and my grandmother lived in the house after this.
At 15 I made out with my dream girl and we got to heavy petting, as jw’s like to call it. We got caught as was an absolute no no to even hold hands.
I had to site for an hour with three male elders, while I described in vivid detail what we had done. The wanted to know about her wetness, my erection, if we climaxed and what was done with it. Down to the fucking detail. Yet they didn’t want to know anything about my abuse.
...
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Author aka_jr91
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:24:57 UTC 2020
Score 542 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:03 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 142
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Former JW here. AllJW's are expected to sign and carry a durable power of attorney, which they also call a "no blood card." It states for you that even if you're unconscious, you still reject transfusions.
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Author baconaliens
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:44:34 UTC 2020
Score 443 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:12 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 40
Body link
From the article it was just audio, happened more than once and she recorded it herself. Probably because the guy was an Elder's son so she felt she needed evidence for people to believe her and why they psychologically tortured her for hours.
I was raised a JW, my mom still is and has seen this. We actually also live in Utah, near this congregation. It is a cult and it's a shame it attracts good people like my mom and others I have met through the church.
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Author lunakuuipo
Posted On Sat Nov 14 00:41:55 UTC 2020
Score 36 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:12 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
Body link
Yes! This. Having to go to the other classroom during bday celebrations because my family would make sure to let my teachers know every year that we wereJWs and that I can’t do that... I felt like even more of an outsider. It’s traumatic. I know what you went through and I’m so sorry you were also subjected to this 😣
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Author Empath_Wrath
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:22:47 UTC 2020
Score 171 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:14 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 16
Body link
I remember a girl in elementary school who was a JW. She never stood for the pledge or celebrated any holiday so there were days she looked absolutely dejected sitting outside the celebrations.
The worst the was during morning announcements, if it was your birthday, the entire school would sing happy birthday. Of course she had the only birthday that day, but JW don’t celebrate birthdays, so the entire school sang to her. She looked so miserable and uncomfortable, but when she started crying at the end, I think it broke everyone in class.
Fuck Jehovah’s Witnesses
Edit: we all knew in class she didn’t celebrate her birthday, but the rest of the school didn’t. So we just sat there in silence, looking at her, like kids do. The anguish is etched in my brain.
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Author smutmuffin1978
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:23:04 UTC 2020
Score 43 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:15 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
Body link
These people are messed up! My BFF from high school was raised a JW. When her parents sold their house we were helping them pack and found her dad's porn in the rafters of the basement - not regular porn mind you - beastialitality porn! She said that explained why the dog hated her dad!
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Author Made-upDreams
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:00:45 UTC 2020
Score 29 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:16 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 5
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Seeing this is odd as I just started watching Cults and Extreme Belief on Hulu and saw their Jehovah’s Witness episode...fuck now I wish I wasn’t so nice when they kept coming to my door.
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Author ralphiooo0
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:48:12 UTC 2020
Score 19 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:16 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
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Hey! I have the almost identical story.
How did you get away with not getting baptised ? I was kinda lucky as mum wasn’t a JW.
My dad was pretty chill for an elder. I never really got any pressure to get baptised either. Was kinda like they thought it was a given but then I hit 16 and started going out and getting drunk and then I don’t think dad minded that I stopped going to church as was always a wreck.
It’s funny what you say about people being sucked in when they are down on their luck. I went to a JW bbq a few years ago and was bored as had nothing on common so started asked people what made them join. Every single one had some shitty life event. Cancer, car accident. Violent partner etc etc. then knock knock I have the answer for you.
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Author m1ssile_
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:00:54 UTC 2020
Score 20 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:17 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
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I’m so sorry to hear that, the brainwashing is so sad, how can you just shun family.
I got baptized at 13, what got to me was all the hypocrisy and mind control, and by 22 I noped the heck outta there. I started hanging out with “worldly” friends, started missing a bunch of meetings, and eventually got a non-JW GF; I wasn’t disfellowshipped as far as I know, I just pretty much ghosted the church and people I had known my whole life; at the time I was young and didn’t care, I was glad to rid myself of the most judgmental people in my life. My mom is still really into the religion, but I am very lucky that she’s not fanatical, my other 2 siblings also left the church and she still speaks to us like nothings changed. It took her around 4 years or so for her to finally stop trying to get us to come back “to the truth”. I remember being an angry kid growing up in the church, once I left the change in my personality was obvious and my family noticed. Best decision I made in my life was leaving.
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Author ISawHimIFoughtHim
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:58:51 UTC 2020
Score 657 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:35 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 253
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There are noJWs in my country so I don't know this stuff.
Can the husband force his wife to die like that without doctors interfering? Why doesn't the wife say something?
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Author Creepy-Exit-5034
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:35:04 UTC 2020
Score 27 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:35 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 8
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wait thats a thing? I used to be a JW as a kid bc my mom forced her religion onto me but I never saw any book like that
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Author westfunk
Posted On Fri Nov 13 20:48:13 UTC 2020
Score 53 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:36 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 25
Body link
If Scientology and Mormonism had a baby, it would be a Jehovahs Witness.
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Author Catalyst375
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:49:41 UTC 2020
Score 84 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:38 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 13
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Parents are not able to prevent their children from getting a blood transfusion. The doctors can give them the transfusion against the parents wishes. The parents will absolutely try to stop them though, and I'm sure there are plenty of example ofJWs denying life-saving transfusion.
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Author UnsettlingAura
Posted On Fri Nov 13 20:19:37 UTC 2020
Score 195 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:39 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 5
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There are a lot ofJWs who are in abusive relationships but cannot escape because divorce is a sin. It really is sick
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Author UnsettlingAura
Posted On Fri Nov 13 20:51:40 UTC 2020
Score 9 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:40 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 5
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Uugh idk how to explain it, I would say look it up but I don't want y'all giving clicks to their homepage. Try asking in exjw they should know!
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Author dec44
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:21:11 UTC 2020
Score 11 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:41 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 4
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Don't forget receiving blood transfusions is also forbidden. A fellow kid I was in school with who was JW had a blood disease and needed a transfusion to live. His parents said no so he died. Fuck all religions.
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Author Its_daveed
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:28:29 UTC 2020
Score 116 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:41 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
Body link
I almost died because i needed a blood transfusion but my dad was a JW and didnt want it happening but stuff happened and i ended up having a blood transfusion.
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Author NOFXpunklinoleum
Posted On Fri Nov 13 19:37:59 UTC 2020
Score 927 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:48 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 61
Body link

I grew up in a JW family. Dad an elder.
This is good, and accurate. A little more information, you have to be baptized in order to be disfellowshipped. You can hang around and attend meetings, but the end game is to get you baptized so that total control can be established.
Witnesses are "nice" people. My parents' congregation gets a lot of "down on their luck" types who just attend meetings to get free meals, rides, and even job hookups. My loser uncle who due to health issues can no longer smoke, drink or do drugs started attending meetings a few years ago, my mom fixes his truck, drives him to doctor appointments, took him to Victoria for medical treatment. He barely spoke to anyone in our family his whole life, but he knew where to come for handouts.
The handouts are meant to keep the person around so they can be talked into getting baptized. Most of these people end up taking off after getting all they can outside of getting baptized, but a few get sucked right in.
A friend of mine stayed a JW for many years. His mom died when he was 13, and he was told over and over again that the only way for him to see her again was for him to stay in "The Truth", and that she would be resurrected one day. As he was a child, this was instilled deeply in him, and it took well into his adulthood to realize this was pure craziness. He was eventually disfellowshipped, now his father and two sisters will not speak to him or acknowledge his existence. They have quite literally walked by him on the street without making eye contact. I don't know how someone could do that to family.
I was never baptized, so my parents still talk to me and we have an ok relationship. But that rift is always there, and I know my mom's greatest wish is that someday I'll see the light.
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Author Qball92
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:07:51 UTC 2020
Score 19 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:49 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 4
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It's from 12,000 people from each of the 12 tribes of Israel. Not a JW/exJW, just a little bit of a religious scholar.
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Author theknyte
Posted On Sat Nov 14 00:16:07 UTC 2020
Score 37 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:50 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
Body link
I know the general world just laughs at Jehovah Witnesses as those "Nutty religious people who knock on the door."
This is all they want the general world to think of them.
THEY ARE A CULT.
They use classic indoctrination and brainwashing tricks that are only employed by cults. They use families against each other with their "Disfellowshipping" belief. Which is: If you don't follow the church's rule 100% to their liking, they will disfellowship you. You are cut off. From everything. Your friends and even your own family is told not to talk to, meet, or contact in any way shape or form, until they come crawling back to the church, begging to be let back in.
Parents willingly kick their own children out of their homes, if the Elders (Leaders of the church, ie Pastors, Priests, etc.) demand it.
They are not to associate with "Worldly Influences". Which means, no friends who are outside the church. No dating outside the church. No watching or reading ANY media not approved by the church. (Information Control and Suppression, another classic cult tactic.)
They do not want authorities to ever be involved with their religion. So any abuse, physical, sexual, mental etc. that is reported to the church, is "dealt with" in house, and even if serious crimes have been committed, they will not report them, for fear of bad publicity.
This is not a harmless religion with "Silly beliefs" such as simply not celebrating or recognizing any holiday including Birthdays. This is a cult, that has been manipulating and controlling their members for over 100 years now.
SOURCE: Was raised in JW org, and left as soon as I was old enough to.
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Author throw_away_abc123efg
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:31:56 UTC 2020
Score 74 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:51 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
Body link
They probably witnessed it, I mean, they are called Jehovah’s Witnesses.
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Author ZoraksGirlfriend
Posted On Fri Nov 13 23:38:42 UTC 2020
Score 16 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:51 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
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There was one woman who died after refusing a transfusion. For some reason, it made the news and her family was talking about beingJWs. One of them said something like “in this day and age, you’d think doctors be able to prevent her death.”
I can’t remember if I literally face palmed, but I know I yelled at the tv.
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Author Blathersisacoward
Posted On Fri Nov 13 20:14:37 UTC 2020
Score 64 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:52 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
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Growing up in a JW household this doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.
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Author Vorian23
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:06:48 UTC 2020
Score 72 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:53 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
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They actually celebrate it when children “remain faithful to Jehovah and are willing to give their lives to uphold his laws”. This article is from their magazine the awake and it spotlights kids who died. https://wol.`jw.org`/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/101994363 It’s a horrible cult. I wish more people knew about their harmful practices
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Author San_Ajo
Posted On Fri Nov 13 21:56:56 UTC 2020
Score 20 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:54 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
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My grandmother was a JW and wanted to let my mother, who needed a transfusion after birth, die. (Austria, 1976)
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Author Mina111406
Posted On Fri Nov 13 22:11:36 UTC 2020
Score 271 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:54 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 64
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If they say it's for religious purposes, there isn't much that can be done. Was working with a patient that died after a car accident because she refused a transfusion because she was JW. She looked terrified saying it, but her husband was there exclaiming the sin of receiving a transfusion. She would have been fine, even though she was seriously injured, but she just lost too much blood. She had a toddler and a baby and died because of her religious belief. Seems extremely selfish to me, but thats my opinion.
There are artificial blood products now specifically for this reason. Because it's fake, they can take the transfusion. But only if a hospital has it available. It's not super common and hard to get in a timely fashion.
Source: am lab tech that does blood bank and work in a very small hospital that also gives me a lot of ER patient interaction.
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Author DickJagamo
Posted On Sat Nov 14 00:13:11 UTC 2020
Score 7 as of Sun Nov 15 18:00:55 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
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The Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult. Not quite as bad as Scientology, but still pretty bad.
submitted by jw_mentions to jw_mentions [link] [comments]


2020.11.10 09:51 ximunderground 27 [F4A] - yes hello, here is my dramatic backstory

Heyo, hiyo. My name's Ryn (not full name, but a nickname)! I'm 27 and I live in Southern Utah. I feel like I have a lot to say here... more than usual, which means I'm going to be talking for several paragraphs lol. So fair warning!!
In order for you to understand where I'm coming from with this post, I feel I should give some background. I grew up in a cult (Mormonism) and although I was mentally out by the time I was 14, it took me a long time to come out to my family (as both an atheist and as bisexual). I removed my records a couple of years ago (if you don't believe that Mormonism is a cult, I had to go through an attorney to get my records removed.... so that should tell you something lmao). Even though my experiences in the church weren't nearly as negative as a lot of other people, the culture still severely impacted me and effected me as an individual in a lot of ways. I've had a lot of other things happen to me that don't have to do with religion that have impacted me in similar ways, but a lot of this happened is a sort of cohabitive fashion; one thing fed into the other, fed into the other, into the other, in a pretty vicious cycle. The result is that I'm massively shy, introverted to the extreme (I can go for days without seeing a person and just be like... totally fine tbh, and I get overwhelmed in social situations within a short amount of time), I don't trust easily, and it takes me a long, long time to get comfortable with people enough that I can be myself. I also suffer from depression and pretty severe generalized anxiety, in addition to two chronic illnesses.
I didn't go on a date until I was about 21, and I didn't have my first relationship until this year. That was a hugely eye-opening experience for me, and I understand a lot more about myself, and yet there's a lot I don't understand now that I thought I did. Isn't that the fun part of growing as a person xD My relationship only lasted three months and I broke up with the other person because I saw a lot of red flags in him that I wasn't comfortable with or willing to tolerate. It was also a case of.... thinking I wanted one thing in a significant other and a relationship, and realizing that wasn't what I actually wanted.
SO all that is to say that I'm currently on a journey of self-discovery and trying to figure out what I really want. I'm in this conundrum where I do want to be in a relationship, but the journey of actually getting to know people is exhausting to me. Not because I don't want to, but because my anxiety gets the best of me, and because sometimes I feel like it takes me so long to really be myself that I can accidentally present myself as one way when really I'm another, and so by the time I really start to develop a close relationship with someone I feel like an imposter almost. I've never really felt like someone understood me in a really deep, genuine way. And I guess that's what I'm really looking for - someone to understand me and accept me for all the weirdness that is me, and someone I can do the same for. I make up a lot of excuses in my head for why I shouldn't get to know people, or why they aren't genuine in wanting to get to know me, and it can be really difficult for me to get past that. But I'm getting better at it. And I want to continue getting better.
So! I guess all that is to say that I'm a bit of a mess, but I'm working on it lmao, as I'm sure a lot of us are. Additionally to say that... I don't really know what I want here. Friends absolutely, but while my ultimate goal is to be in a relationship with someone, I don't want to put that pressure on whatever happens here. So someone to talk to and get to know, and if something more happens? Cool! And if not? I need more friends anyway lol. I go through periods of wanting to talk all the time, and then periods where I'm just... not wanting to talk to anyone at all except my cat rofl, so fair warning.

NOW THAT ALL OF THAT IS OUT OF THE WAY, SOME STUFF ABOUT ME THAT ISN'T SO DRAMATIC:

Once I get comfortable with someone, I tend to be really silly and goofy. I laugh easily and a lot (I have a loud laugh, too - people have told me repeatedly that they can hear me from across a building). I snort-laugh quite often. I've been told that I should start charging people for my services: Follow them around and laugh at all their jokes to boost their confidence. Lucrative business idea, right?! I get really excited about things and cry a lot. New music? I'll cry. I wept like a baby when I saw Coco, when I read The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson (don't get me stARTED unless you want to hear a long-winded ramble about how Dalinar Kholin is the best character of all time, don't @ me), and I'm basically a big mess whenever I talk about Harry Potter (especially now that JK Rowling is a confirmed transphobe... I have some feelings). I feel things deeply, basically. I'm a wuss.
I think the simplest way to sum my personality up is to say if I were a Vine, I'd be this one because I do this annoying thing in my daily life. I like to talk in all caps over text, and in person, about 80% of my vocabulary consists of weird facial expressions and sound effects. I think I'm a master of making myself look like an idiot to make people laugh, so there's that. I have one of those weird senses of humor where I find almost anything funny, and puns make me cry-laugh. I like humor that's super pure, and really dark humor.
I also love stories of all kinds, but especially in the form of movies and books. I do like TV shows, too, but I have a harder time getting into them because of the time commitment. If it's something that's complex with amazing characters and fantastic writing, though, I'm hooked (Avatar: The Last Airbender, anyone?). I love, love, love watching movies with people I like, especially if it's a movie they've never seen that I love, because I really like knowing what people think about things and if they like it, it makes me happy that I introduced it to them. So, like, please wanna watch movies with me. Especially horror movies. And maybe true crime shows. And documentaries. And a lot of stuff.
I'm also an author! I've published a short story in a local literary journal, so I'm not that far yet in my career and I'm faaar from being a professional author, but I'm working on my first novel/series. I tend to stay indoors a lot because I feel like being a writer naturally makes me averse to spending too much time outside lmao, but I have some health things that keep me from doing a lot of physical activity anyway. Feel free to ask me about it, if you want!
I always forget to add this, but I'm also VERY INVESTED in music. I sing and play piano (and guitar a bit, but I'm super novice lmao), and I get hardcore into bands/artists I love. So, there's that lmao. Another fun fact about me: I have 13 tattoos (and am itching to get more). My next is going to be a tribute to Rush, which I always intended to get, but after spending an afternoon lying on my living room floor, listening to Rush, and crying over Neil Peart, I've decided it's gotta be next lmao.
If you're interested in messaging me, you should know that I'm unsure of where I want to settle down at present, but there is a good chance I'll want to move to the WA/OR area in the next several years. I'm almost positive I want kids (but not biologically mine, for a lot of reasons you can ask me about if you'd like). A lot of people on this sub don't seem to want children, so I feel this important to mention. Additionally, I'm fairly positive that I'm asexual. I'm not averse to sex necessarily, but I'm just not always... terribly interested lmao. Other dealbreakers: I'd prefer someone close to my age (I'm more open to several years older than younger, though), and I'm not interested if you smoke (including vaping). Nothing to do with tobacco in general, I'm just not interested in having the smoke around me. TBH I'm also not interested in dating someone religious; I'm happy for you if it makes you happy, but I am... uncomfortable with religion as a general rule. LDR is totally fine with me to start with, but of course if this goes anywhere, I'd love to be in the same place eventually! Also, it'd be awesome to do skype calls or voice chat on discord or something in the future, when we're both comfortable.
Other than the above, I'm open to anyone regardless of gender, location, etc. I KNOW THIS WAS SO MUCH TEXT so if you got through all of it and are still interested, kudos to you and hi xD
submitted by ximunderground to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.11.04 03:03 Maddox_Hendrick_Lake The Price of Attrition, Chapter II

“Get off my leg, dude.” I said, trying to pull myself out of bed. I had shoved it under Matt the night before in an attempt to make him uncomfortable enough to move over a little... he was such a bed hog. Apparently, he was perfectly comfortable sleeping with his back arched, so I slept at the edge of the bed with my leg being crushed, and now it was asleep.
He moaned a little bit as I pushed him, trying to force him to roll over, but he eventually did. As I sat up on the edge of the bed, looking at my surroundings, I noticed my stepbrother on the floor, and I was all of the sudden jealous. I had initially proposed sleeping on the floor, a sort of self-sacrifice I was willing to make as the minority in the group. The four of us were still at that awkward stage in our friendship after I had come out that the boundaries were still not yet fully established. It had been a few months now, but we were still fumbling around questions of whether or not it was appropriate for us to change together, shower together, or sleep together in the same bed... the way we had been for years, but the new dynamic of my sexuality had called all of these things that for so long had just been normal, everyday things between best friends into question. Now that the cat was out of the bag, I felt like I had to accommodate my friends in whatever way possible, because in a society where boys sitting too close to each other could be misconstrued as “gay”, I was terrified of losing them. On the other hand, they felt like they needed to accommodate me, because I was the one who was all of the sudden a part of a minority, and they didn't want to offend me, for fear of losing me as a friend should something that they said or did come off the wrong way.
So, instead of sleeping on the floor, Matt had insisted that I share the bed with him. He even said, I know what you're thinking, and it's not like that. So we shared the bed, and he'd kept me on the edge of it all night, and now I was looking at Derek all comfortably splayed on the floor wrapped up in his blankets wishing I was in his place. My leg was tingling fiercely as it came back to life, so fiercely that I knew I wouldn't be able to squeeze into my skinnies for another minute or two. Which was fine, really. I knew that once I started getting dressed, everyone else would start waking up too, and at that point I wouldn't have any time to myself, and I needed to think. What the fuck had happened last night?
I had had the most horrible set of dreams. A dream within a dream even, but a lot more terrifying than anything featured in Christopher Nolan’s Inception, and the contents of which SHOULD have been obviously unreal. Little girl, bloody hands, weird temple. I’d obviously been watching too much TV or reading some weird shit, and it had made its way into my subconscious. I didn’t really read a lot of fiction at the time though, or at least not the kind that had that kind of material in it. What’s more, I could literally remember every detail. You know when you wake up, and your dreams are a haze? This one, or perhaps more properly these two, weren’t. Nope! They were pretty damn clear.
“Dude...” Matt's hand brushed down my back. The feeling tickled a bit, and it made me shudder, “... what time is it?”
Good question. I leaned over and fumbled through my pants to find my phone.
“9:00 AM.”
“Fuck...” he snapped up, “Fuck dude! We were supposed to be up at seven.”
So... what's two hours?
“We have plenty of time, man.” I reminded him. It was only another five or so hours to Salt Lake in this weather.
“Dude, it's gonna be like four o'clock by the time we get there!” He said as he hurriedly put his pants on.
“So? Aren't we stopping in Salt Lake for the night life anyways?”
“Yeah... but I kinda wanted to see it, you know?”
Was that part of the trip? I didn't realize.
“Other than Temple Square, there's not a whole lot to see, dude. Trust me.” I'd been there before, I knew.
“Exactly.” Wait, what? “I wanna see Temple Square.”
“Why?”
“Cuz I wanna see the epicenter of Mormonism, dude. I wanna see what you guys believe.”
“I'm not Mormon anymore, man.” The words still stung in my mouth, it had been such a fundamental part of my identity for so long. Plus, my mom was still making me attend sacrament meeting every Sunday.
“I know.” He shrugged, “I just wanna see, though.”
“We have all of tomorrow to see too, man. Chill out. Lay back down. I hardly slept. You're a fucking bed hog.”
“Dude, no. Let's go. Come on!” He pleaded.
“Fine, but if we're going now, don't you need to shower first?” I kind of wanted an excuse to see him naked. He was really good looking. I'd seen it a million times before, but it never got old to me. All of my friends were Adonises. I had made a point of that being the case.
He tilted his head in acknowledgment and then before I knew it, his pants and boxers were at his ankles, and he was working to pull them off. That wasn't exactly my plan – I had thought that maybe while he was showering I might make the excuse that I needed to shave, even though I really didn't grow a lot of facial hair at that age. But ,who was I to complain?
“Ok... dude.” I said awkwardly.
“Like you haven't seen it all before.” He tossed his clothes on my head and walked across the room to the bathroom door. His skin was golden under the light coming in from the window.
“What the hell? Is Matt naked?” Jack said as he stretched, still half asleep.
“Yes, Matt is naked.” Matt declared.
He was standing over my step brother's head.
“Dude, what the fuck man?” Derek jerked out from under Matt, almost tripping him, “What the hell?”
Everyone who was awake laughed. We were all pretty comfortable around each other, despite the new dynamics, what with all the days spent in the locker rooms after soccer practice. Derek was the only one in the room who hadn't been a part of all that. He had come along at my mom's request as our “chaperone”. Ha! Fat fucking chance. Even though I was 15, and recently come out as gay, my mom was still clinging to that image of the innocent little boy she had left behind in Ellensburg. But, it was 2012, and we were godless boys from the rural USA. Innocence, a commodity none of us had in short supply, was something we were intent on losing this summer, and my stepbrother was probably the last person on Earth who was going to stop us.
Mom’s second marriage had been outside of the Church you see, so Derek was not only not Mormon and therefore not keen on protecting our innocence, but in fact had helped us all get fake IDs for 18+ clubs. He had also been coaching Jack, Connor, and Matt the entire way from Richland to Boise about what to do with a girl when you had her in bed, so I had certainly learned more than I cared to know about my stepbrother just in the first twenty minutes. This led to my spending most of the road trip with my headphones in my ears watching dowloaded movies on my stepdad’s tablet. Not that I didn't want to interact with my friends. I was just a 15-year-old boy whose last interest was talking with his stepbrother about how to… dine at the downstairs deli. None of us really had a lot of girl experience, you see. I hadn't for obvious reasons; Connor, despite his sharp good looks had this weird thing where he froze up around girls; Jack... well, Jack thought he was too ugly, and Matt... I wasn't sure if Matt even liked girls that much.
I mean, he definitely dated and girls and bragged about fooling around with them and such, but when I had come out, he all of the sudden was really, really fascinated with my sexuality and constantly probed me with question after question about what my preferences were. Was I the catcher, or the pitcher? Why? What kind of porn was I into? What was it about x thing that turned me on? The other guys were interested too, but not quite as much as Matt. He did make sure to contrast it every time with how he felt about girls, but honestly I felt like he was over compensating sometimes. He also had this odd need to be naked in my presence whenever possible... we'd even been showering together lately at his house cuz he said that there was a problem with the water heater, and that it was to “save hot water”. Smelled like a line of bullshit to me, but again, I wasn't complaining. Was he signaling, or did he just like displaying? I wasn't really sure. I just made sure to be as business oriented as possible with him in the shower, even when he asked me to do wash his back and he’d wash mine. As awkward as I felt being open about being gay though, I kind of hoped that Matt felt the same way about me that I did about him... about all of them, really. Still, I was NOT about to make the first move. As far as I was concerned, all other men were straight unless they explicitly stated otherwise, which was how I was able to still be “one of the guys” while being attracted to guys.
“Are you coming?” Matt asked me.
My heart was in my throat. It had never been stated outright, but I had kind of assumed that that last bit would stay between us.
“What do you mean?” Connor had rolled over and was looking at Matt, who didn't even have his hand over his junk to cover up.
I looked around, nervous.
“Nah, I'm ok dude. Just hurry up.” I told him.
“Suit yourself, man.” Matt closed the door behind him.
Connor looked at me, confused.
“Are you two...?”
“No.” I smiled, “It's just a thing I guess.”
“You two might as well just fuck and complete your relationship, man.” He laughed.
I wish...
“It's not even like that...”
“Oh yeah, it's not even like that... come join me in the shower, Trynian, it's not gay at all...”
Everyone laughed just a bit...
“We shower together all the time!” Even as it came out of my mouth I knew it was a stupid comparison.
“Yeah...” Connor laughed, “In the locker room. You know... where we don't have any other choice? I don't invite you to come shower with me in a motel. That's totally different, dude.”
“I don't think that's how he sees it.”
“But you do...” He was smiling.
I smiled, a little uncomfortable. He laughed again.
After Matt was done in the shower, we all took our 'turns', which involved one person in the shower, the other shaving and combing copious amounts of pomade through their hair, which all and all took about another hour. I was of course able to catch some not-so-discrete peeks at my friends, and then we were off. We caught some cheap Chinese 'to go' for breakfast before heading out. The road through Southern Idaho isn't exactly the most scenic. About the only thing to see is the Snake River Gorge, and having grown up not too far from the Columbia River Gorge, it wasn't really that impressive to any of us. Most of it is either farm country, where destructive methods of agriculture have ravaged the landscape, or degraded scrub country. The real scenery doesn't start until you hit the Wasatch Mountains around Brigham City. The Wasatch Mountains, despite being one of the seemingly few things in Utah with a Native American name (at least, compared to Washington), are actually kind of impressive... if you didn't grow up around mountains.
I had grown up in Ellensburg, so the Cascades had never been far until I moved to the Tri Cities in the 7th grade. But my friends had grown up in the flat scrublands of Eastern Washington, and so, of course, were pretty mesmerized by them... the Wasatch Mountains, I mean. Most people raised in the flat country are. I remember that all of the talk of girls and hunting and soccer and who we hated at school died down once we got into the mountains. There was still the occasional conversation here and there, but everyone seemed to be perfectly content staring out the window at the landscape. The woods that cloaked the mountains were really quite the contrast to the coniferous forests that dominate the Cascades. These woods were deciduous, and a lot of the trees I wasn't at all familiar with. The only real deciduous forest I knew was the riparian woodland that was the Kurek Family Playground, otherwise known as W.E. Johnson Park, to people who read the upside down sign where the trails meet inside it. Poplars, cottonwoods, black locust, Russian olive, wild roses and giant raspberry and blackberry bushes dominated that little flood zone. The vast majority of the trees here I just couldn't name, which was something that had always fascinated me, really. People back then tended to think of the United States as one big homogenous nation, but it really wasn't. Both the land and the people were very different wherever you went.
We arrived in Salt Lake around six in the evening, much to Matt's disappointment. I remember on the way in that Matt seemingly couldn’t contain himself, and kept asking if we were there yet every time you could see a Mormon temple from the highway. “How many temples do these people have? Shit…” He said in disappointment after I told him the Bountiful temple wasn’t the one we were going to either. I had to laugh a little, cuz it definitely reminded me of my first time going to Utah with my parents. In Washington Mormons were a minority, but in Utah I could literally see a church from a church.
Once we actually got to Salt Lake though, nobody else was really all that interested in seeing all of the religious attractions at first. Just about everybody actually wanted to go downtown and eat, especially now that we all had signals on our phones and could look places up. Once we set foot on Temple Square however, with tourists and sister missionaries bustling in and out of the Old Tabernacle and the Visitors Centers, it all of the sudden became very engaging... for everyone but me, really.
Jack, Connor, and Matt all pranced through the gates, ready to meet some girls and flirt with the young, and overwhelmingly foreign sister missionaries. You could almost hear MIMS' 'This is Why I'm Hot' playing in the background as they made their entrance. I never really thought of Temple Square as a place to pick up girls until then, since I had been brought up in the LDS Church and the place had a very different meaning for me growing up. But as soon as we got there, I could see how it was a good place for three young bucks ready for the rut to sniff out some does. I mean, the place was packed with foreign tourists, a surprising number of which were female. And the sister missionaries were no slouches either. In fact, almost immediately Matt was pestering me to start a conversation with a couple of them after noticing that one had a Polish flag pin on her chest.
“You’re NOT gonna hit on sister missionaries, dude.”
“Who says I’m hitting on ‘em, dickface? Maybe I just wanna hear you speak Polish!”
He was putting me on the spot, and I didn’t like it. Despite the fact that I might as well have worn a Polish flag on my chest as well the way I gallivanted around school talking about how “Polish” I was all the time, I had actually learned to speak it online, and the only person I spoke it with at all was my great-grandmother.
“Come on, man! Don’t be such a bitch.”
“I’m not being a bitch, shitsack. They’re OFF LIMITS. Period.”
“Please?” He cracked his half smile that he would give me when he wanted something that he knew I couldn’t say no to.
“Fine.”
“Excuse me! Hey!” He was bellowing at them like they were sheep, or something.
“Dude!” I smacked his arm, but he didn’t stop.
The two sister missionaries looked at us a little funny for a second, and the Canadian one shot back, “Are you talking to us?”
“Yep! Yeah, my Polish friend here has some questions about the Church.”
Nice…
The two of them walked up to us, the Polish one looking all giddy. Granted, she probably hadn’t had the chance to speak her own language in months.
“Well hello!” One Sister Widder said, “What brings you guys here today?”
“Oh… you know. We’re in town for a couple of days, and thought we’d check it out.”
“That’s great! We’re glad you came! Are your parents nearby?”
Ha!
“We’re 18. It’s our senior vacation…” He said, almost stern.
“That’s great! Where’re you guys from?”
“Washington.” I said, before Matt could say anything ridiculous, “We’re from Washington.”
“But… you are Polish?” Sister Žabinski almost stuttered.
“Polsko-amerykański, tak.” I said.
“Aaaaw! Mówisz po polsku! Gdzie się uczyłeś?”
I had never told anybody at school the truth about how I learned to speak the language, cuz it sounded stupid… or at least I thought. I couldn’t lie to a sister missionary, though. That would be… wrong.
“Nauczyłem się w Internecie.” I was sort of embarrassed, because I could tell that Matt caught the word “internet”.
“W Internecie? Ale mówisz jak Ślązak!”
What the fuck does Ślązak mean?
“Dziękuję.” I thanked her, “Is that… bad?”
She laughed.
“To wcale nie jest takie złe. Właściwie, to naprawdę urocze.” She answered back in Polish, even though I had switched over to English.
I could see why though. Telling me the way I talked was 'adorable' (uroczy) wasn't exactly the kind of thing she would have wanted her Canadian companion to understand, since it left me unsure as to whether or not she was flirting.
“Jesteście sami? Gdzie są wasi dziewcyny?”
Ok, NOW she was flirting...
“Nie mamy dziewczyn.” I said, taking Matt's hand.
He looked uncomfortable for a second, and then he went along with it.
“Oh, cool. Ok...” Sister Žabinski lifted an eyebrow.
Her and her companion made some sort of an excuse to leave that I can't remember, and then Matt asked me what my holding his hand was all about.
“She asked where our girlfriends were...” I said.
“Ooooooh...” He laughed, “I see.”
“Hey Trynian! What’s this thing that looks like a giant turtle shell?” Jack called from across the courtyard.
“That’s the Old Tabernacle.”
“Would you like us to show you?” Sister Žabinski offered, having only moved a few yards away.
“Sure.” Jack shrugged, a smile spread across his face.
I knew that look. He was up to no good, so I needed to make sure he didn’t do anything overly inappropriate.
“I’m coming!” I shouted, making my way over as fast as possible.
“No, no! It’s alright! We can show them.” She didn’t like me, I could tell.
“Naprawdę siostra, jest ok. Będę twoim opiekunem.”
I made sure to put just the right amount of venom in that last word, chaperone (opiekun). I guess I kinda wanted to rub it in her face, a little.
“Chcesz powiedzieć nasz ‘przyzvoitka’? Nie ma potrzeby.” She said with a sort of amicable disdain dripping from every word.
I felt a little dumb, because I had been very confident in my use of the word opiekun just a minute ago, but come to think of it, it came off to me more as having the sense of a babysitter than a chaperone.
“Dude, let ‘em go. Let’s go see the Visitors’ Center.” Matt told me.
“Excuse me! Hey, sisters!” Derek swung his arm around Matt, “My buddy here would like you to show him the Visitors’ Center. He’s French, and he’d really appreciate being able to hear the whole tour in his own language.”
Matt looked at me sharply, but my stepbrother just winked.
“Vraiment? Quelle chance!” One Sister Canard gasped, looking over at Matt.
My family’s from France, but we don’t speak French, I could hear his words in my head. It was true too. I had heard him speaking a sort of a pseudo-Spanish-French thing with his dad that they both called Llemosi, and while they were careful to speak English around me 98% of the time, I had heard enough of it to be able to tell it was neither. Whatever though, right? My hat was off to Derek for giving him a taste of his own medicine.
“I insist…” I said, catching up to sisters Žabinski and Widder.
Sister Žabinski rolled her eyes.
I remember sneaking a glance back at Matt and Derek as we went inside. Matt was already getting annoyed, which made me laugh to myself just a little, since he had already embarrassed me twice that day. On the other hand, Sister Widder was scolding Sister Žabinski in a low whisper on the way in. I didn’t catch much, but I heard the words “everyone is a child of god”, and so I presumed that she was reminding her that, even though Matt and I seemed to be a gay couple, it was still worth a shot at proselytizing to us. I wondered what she would think if she knew I was a dissident member, though…
“Ok guys! So, this is the Salt Lake Tabernacle.” Sister Widder began, “I know your friend here called it the ‘Old Tabernacle’, but the Old Tabernacle was actually demolished in 1877 and replaced by the Salt Lake Assembly Hall. That’s the building a lot of people say looks like a Catholic Church just next door. This is actually just called the Salt Lake Tabernacle, because the building that we now use to host General Conference twice a year is called the LDS Conference Center, across the street.”
“Foreskin…” Jack whispered in my ear.
“What?” I said, trying to stifle a laugh.
“I fucking dare you to get her to say it.”
He was referring to a game the four of us would play either at school or with other kids our age in which we would give each other a word to trick somebody else, usually a stranger, into saying. The only rule was that you couldn’t ask them to say it outright, but instead they had to say it spontaneously cuz you had already said it several times, or you had put them in a situation where that word had to be said aloud. We had been playing it since the 8th grade, and thus far the only official name we’d been able to come up with was “The Word Game”.
“No.”
“I’m sorry?” Sister Widder said.
I had spoken at an audible volume.
“Nothing, sorry. What were you saying?” I said.
She was picking up that something was wrong, but she continued.
“So, this tabernacle was started in 1863, but it wasn’t finished until 1875. It’s still used sometimes for overflow during General Conference…”
Blah, blah, fucking blah. I know…
“Pussy.” Jack whispered.
“Stop it, man.”
“Fine. I’ll do it then.”
After Sister Widder had concluded her explanation of the building’s history and what it was used for, she asked if any of us had any questions.
“I do!” Jack said, gleefully, “What’s your church’s stance on circumcision?”
Sister Widder blinked, apparently taken aback, but Sister Žabinski didn’t appear to understand the question.
“Well,” Sister Widder let out an awkward sigh, “I’m not sure we really have a stance on it. My understanding is that it was part of the law in the Old Testament, but it’s not something that’s required anymore.”
“So, you’re against it?”
“I’m not sure the church is against it per se, but I personally don’t agree with it.”
“I’m sorry,” Sister Žabinski interjected, “what is this… circon-”
“It’s the removal of the-”
If we’re doing this, he’s not getting off that easy..
“Obrzezanie.” I interrupted Sister Widder. Don’t ask me how I knew how to say that.
Jack looked at me with a wide-eyed sort of “wtf” look, but I just bit my lip and smiled.
“Oooooh…” She let out an embarrassed laugh, “I have heard Americans do this. In Poland this is something that is… for the Jews.”
“So, why are you personally against it?” Jack asked.
“Well, we don’t really do it that much in Canada, cuz it’s not really necessary, I guess?” Sister Widder said.
“Why not?” He said, “I mean, I’m not circumcised. None of us are actually… but, I’ve just always wondered why some people are so for it and some people are so against it.”
“Right, well… it’s not something the church has a hard stance on. At least, not to my knowledge, anyways.”
“Yeah, but it’s kind of an issue, right? Like, a lot of people actually talk about this. Don’t you think that if your priests or whatever are communicating directly with god, that he’d tell them that cutting babies’ foreskins off is wrong?”
“I think that’s more of a matter of medicine, than religion, right?” She said, “I mean, god doesn’t always tell us what medication is right for the right person.”
Nope. This is going off topic. She’s not gonna say it.
“Ok, but your church does have something to say about gays, right?”
I wasn’t sure what he was doing here. Was he veering into an actual religious debate, or was he just trying to get her to say “foreskin”?
“I’m not sure I see the connection?” She said, squinting skeptically.
“Well, most Christian churches think homosexuality is wrong, but you guys stay quiet about babies having their junk cut up for what you yourself acknowledge is no good reason? Cuz, if there’s no good reason to do it, that’s kind of like… sexual abuse, right?”
“More medical malpractice, but I see what you’re getting at.” She said, “You have a good point. I grew up in the Church and never heard any official stance on it, but my sister is actually a physician’s assistant for a urologist, and so she sees the damage all the time. It can get pretty bad.”
“So… if you don’t think it’s necessary now, do you think it was necessary in the Old Testament?”
“Hmmmm…. I don’t know. There’s a lot of things that God might tell us to do in the moment that we don’t really understand but it ends up making sense to us later. That’s kind of what having faith is all about, right?”
“I guess…” he shrugged, “but even if God that tells you to cut up your baby boy’s… man parts?”
“Well actually, now that I think about it…” She nodded, “… circumcision in the Old Testament is different from what people do today. At the time, only the tip of the foreskin was removed. The current method wasn’t devised until later, after there had been some cultural contact between Jews and Greeks.”
Connor and I both giggled.
How the fuck does he do that? He always does that…
Jack was truly a master at The Word Game. We usually gave each other clumsy or crass words to say, but somehow or other this shameless motherfucker was always able to coax literally anybody into saying them.
“Oh, wow… I didn’t know that. That’s still kind of messed up though, don’t you think?”
“Maybe.” She shrugged, “Or maybe there was a certain genetic condition that was prominent in Jewish people at the time that God was trying to help them with? I don’t know. None of us do. God asks us to follow in faith, but he doesn’t always tell us why.”
“Definitely, yeah.” He nodded.
This time, it was US making an excuse to leave, since the conversation had now outlived its purpose. I was forced to give credit where credit was due, so I gave him a high-five as we walked to the other side of the building.
“Was that what I thought it was?” Connor asked.
“Damn straight.” Jack adjusted his gym sack with his thumbs, “Trynian here pussied out.”
“Yeah?” Connor looked at me, but I wasn’t having it.
“Alright, give me a word.” I said, looking at Connor.
“Phallus.” Jack said.
“You picked the last word, dude. It’s HIS turn.” I reminded him.
“Yeah, faggot!” Connor smacked Jack on the arm before looking back at me with a sly smile, “Scrotum.”
“Who’s my mark?”
He took a moment to scan the building. There were a couple of different pairs of sister missionaries talking to tourists, including sisters Widder and Žabinski, and then one standing alone at one of the doorways. So, who did he pick?
“That guy.” He said, bouncing his eyebrows forward to indicate someone behind me. There were was an elderly couple of ushers at one of the entrances.
My heart sank. There was no way in hell I could pull any of the usual shenanigans with someone like that. He’d kick us all out in two seconds.
“No way.”
“Pussy.” He said.
“Dude, we’re gonna get kicked out!”
“P-p-ppppussy!” He said again, making the raspberry sound with his lips.
Just then, an idea popped into my head.
“Ok, fine.” I turned around and got walking.
I made sure to bite my lip and smile, the way I always did when I was feeling confident in myself, but the reality was that I could practically hear my heart pounding in my ears. Come on, dude. All you gotta do, is convince a religious old man to say ‘scrotum’ in a religious building. How hard could that be? Not nearly as hard as he thought it was, if my plan panned out.
“Excuse me, sir?” I almost stuttered as I tapped on his shoulder.
“Hello there!” He smiled, “What can I do for you,, bud?”
“Ummm…” I looked back at my friends, then back at him, “… is there a hospital around here?”
Primary Children’s, of course. Everyone from Washington to Colorado knows that…
“Yes there is! Is everything ok?”
“Not really…” I looked at the ground, trying to act embarrassed.
“What’s the matter, son?”
“Ummm…” I gave the other usher a nervous look, like I was uncomfortable saying it in front of her. She was obviously his wife after all, seeing as they had the same surname on their badges.
“Just a moment, Linda…” He told her, putting his arm lightly around my shoulder so we could step away.
“I… I think I’d rather talk to a doctor about it.” I said.
“Well, there’s a hospital right up at The U if you need to go. Should we get your parents?”
“They’re not here, and I haven’t told them. I don’t know how too…” I looked at the ground again, ashamed… but not really.
“Well, if you’re gonna go to the hospital you’re gonna have to. I assume you’re on their insurance, right?”
“I guess…” I shrugged, “… it’s just… well, a) it’s kind of private, and b) I don’t know how they’d react.”
He looked confused.
“Well, what’s the matter?”
Time to drop the bomb…
“I have this lump…” I told him, “… like…”
“Oh…” he said, more concerned than embarrassed, “… pardon me for asking, but… is it in your scrotum?”
Ding! Bitches! Fuck yes…
“Yeah…”
“Well, I’m actually an oncologist. My wife and I just do shifts here as a service for the Church sometimes. Do you… want me to take a look?”
I literally gulped. I did NOT expect that to happen. Not that I doubted the guy’s integrity for a second, but I didn’t expect him to put me on the spot like that. Jack and Connor of course were having trouble containing themselves and bursted out laughing, but Brother Arnold was having none of it.
“Hey!” He snapped his fingers at them, “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing!” Connor said, still laughing.
Brother Arnold walked right up to him. Connor and Jack might have been a year my senior, but this guy towered over both of them. I swear he was at least 6’5. Both of them almost seemed to shrink in his shadow, and any sense of fun quickly faded away.
“If nothing’s funny, what’re you still laughing about?” He demanded. They didn’t say anything, “You boys go outside, NOW.”
“Yes sir!” They said it at the same time.
He walked back over to me and put his arm around my shoulder again, and I felt a sudden rush of guilt in the pit of my stomach.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to take a look? There’s a bathroom in the North Visitors Center.”
“I think I’m ok.” I told him, “What’s the name of that hospital?”
“You’re gonna need to see a primary care doctor first, and they’ll give you a referral for a specialist. Do you live around here?”
“Nope.”
“Then, you’re probably better off waiting until you get home, unless you think it’s an emergency.”
“It isn’t.”
“Right. Where are you coming from?”
“Washington.”
“Seattle?”
“No…” I laughed, “… the Tri Cities.”
“Well, you’re in luck. I happen to know an oncologist who works up at Kadlec, one Dr. Lychfield.”
That’s kinda weird…
“Can you remember that name?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, “yeah I can. Definitely.”
“Alright then.” He patted me hard on the back, “You’d better get going. Your friends’ll be waiting for you outside. What was your name, son?”
“Trynian. Trynian Winslow.”
“Well then, Trynian?” He was holding his hand out, so I gave it a nervous shake. I felt like a little kid, his hands were enormous, and surprisingly rough for a doctor. At the same time though, I felt a certain sense of relief while shaking his hand. He was a good guy. I’m not really sure how I knew it, but I did. I’m not sure whether it was his smile, his strong handshake, or the soothing sound of his deep voice, but I could just tell. A man in the wrong time, it seemed. As he quietly showed me out, I found myself feeling ashamed for having even started the conversation with him in the first place, especially when I saw my friends waiting for me outside, mischievously giggling to themselves as I came out.
“Brother Arnold?” I said, before I walked through the door.
“Yes sir?”
“I’m sorry for leading you on, man. My friends and I have this game, and I —”
“Say no more… I already know.” He said.
“Wait, what?”
“Nobody comes up to a random stranger on Temple Square and tells them they have testicular cancer, bud.”
“Then… why did you —”
He laughed.
“You boys have a nice day.”
submitted by Maddox_Hendrick_Lake to GayShortStories [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 20:45 jw_mentions /r/MomForAMinute - "Hey, Mom. I have C-PTSD."

I am a bot! Please send NotListeningItsABook a private message with any comments or feedback on how I work.
EDIT: As of Sat Oct 31 11:55:17 UTC 2020, the post is at [501pts6c]

About Post:

--- --- Notes
Submission Hey, Mom. I have C-PTSD.
Comments Hey, Mom. I have C-PTSD.
Author femjuniper
Subreddit /MomForAMinute
Posted On Thu Oct 29 12:27:02 UTC 2020
Score 501 as of Sat Oct 31 11:55:17 UTC 2020
Total Comments 37

Post Body:

Hey, Mom. I got diagnosed with C-PTSD this week. I wish I could tell you. But I know I can’t. I know it would turn into a fight.
I’d say, “I’ve been diagnosed with C-PTSD” and you’d say “What?? Why??” and I would have to tell you it’s because of the religion (more like a cult) that you raised me in. The religion you still deeply believe in.
You would be angry. You would deny it. You would tell me that I’ve been persuaded by the Devil. You would blame it on me being gay. You would call me wicked, a sinner, a stray lamb, a deceived child. You would compound my trauma.
No. I can’t tell you. But I wish I could. This is scary and destabilizing and I feel so overwhelmed. I just want my mom. I want to be held by my mom. I want to feel loved and validated. I want to hear you apologize and acknowledge that you have also been abused by our cult. And I want you to be strong enough to leave, too.
But that won’t happen, and that’s devastating.

Related Comments (6):

--- --- Notes
Author outsidesanity
Posted On Thu Oct 29 17:34:57 UTC 2020
Score 2 as of Sat Oct 31 11:55:17 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
Hey there, not mom but a sibling a couple of years ahead of you. Left the cult and was diagnosed a couple of years ago.
I want you to know that things get better! I’m more stable than I have ever been in my life. Back then I just wanted to tell mom that I had to leave for my sanity. Now I wish I could tell her I’m finally sane for the first time in my life.
With therapy and finding others that understood where I was coming from (for me it was exjw) I have become the person I never thought I could be in this world, and I didn’t have to wait for god to fix my never ending sadness.
Diagnosis is a great first step in finding healing. I wish you all the best! If you ever need anyone to talk to I’m here. I found CBT and DBT therapies very helpful.
--- --- Notes
Author FallopianClosed
Posted On Thu Oct 29 17:34:34 UTC 2020
Score 1 as of Sat Oct 31 11:55:17 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
Hey Kiddo, here are some resources available from the Recovering From Religion Foundation if/when you would like to use them:
(Note: some resources are for non-believers, some for believers, some for those leaving more extreme religions/cults, etc. They range from hotlines, webchats, videos, blogs, books, websites, support orgs, therapy, peer-to-peer support, group suggestions, etc.)
RESOURCES, this is just one of the topics:
Topic: Healing From Religious Harm [These resources are specifically for religious or formerly religious people who are dealing with emotional/mental trauma related to religious indoctrination, fundamentalism, guilt and or shame, or other harmful religious practices.]
It’s Ok To Let Go - A Poem by Atheists (A very motivational short presentation)
How We Let Go - A Survey of Atheists (850 Atheists tell their stories)
Conference on Religious Trauma - Leading experts discuss the causes, effects, and recovery related to religious trauma. POSTPONED Vancouver
Divorcing Religion - Freeing yourself from the grip of Fundamentalism
Religious Trauma Syndrome - Find out about Religious Trauma Syndrome here
Religious Trauma Syndrome - A series of three articles by Dr Marlene Winell on healing from the trauma caused by religious beliefs and indoctrination.
Religious Trauma Syndrome -
The Thinking Atheist Podcast
Journeyfree.org - Journey Free is dedicated to helping people transition out of harmful religions, recover from trauma, and rebuild their lives. They offer meetings in the San Francisco area, but also via Skype. 1-510-292-0509
Leaving the Fold - A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religion A self-help book for people recovering from the harmful effects of religious indoctrination. It provides insight into the psychological manipulations involved in authoritarian religion, and Christian fundamentalism in particular. Author Marlene Winell Interview
Religious Scrupulosity - Where Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Meets Religion
Scrupulosity as the Religious Expression of OCD
Living With Scrupulosity - Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts
Shunned Recovery Project - an online support group for people experiencing shunning by any religious group, including Jehovah’s Witnesses. Check for support group dates
Shunned Podcast Episodes
Damaged Goods: New Perspectives on Christian Purity Culture - Progressive Christian Dianna Anderson offers a fresh approach to the conversation about purity culture, She will revolutionize the way you think about sex, abstinence, politics, and faith. Interview
Freedom of Mind Resource Center (Cults) - A great resource for people in the midst of breaking free or helping someone break free from a cult. There is a service fee, but their site also offers many free resources about cults. Their focus is on people finding their own path without the influence of others.
How Cults Rewire the Brain - Diane Benscoter spent five years as a "Moonie." She shares an insider's perspective on the mind of a cult member, and proposes a new way to think about today's most troubled conflicts and extremist movements.
International Cultic Studies Association - ICSA's mission is to apply research and professional perspectives to study and address cults.
Recovering from Christianity - Artefact Magazine article by Kezia Farnham
The Harmful Impact of Religious Family Values - Tracie Harris (Atheist Youtube Broadcaster)
Source: RECOVERING FROM RELIGION FOUNDATION (RFRF) - Religious Resources
https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/#
https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/resources#
(Edit: formatting)
Please take care of yourself, OP, so proud of you, indoctrination is so difficult to break free from, I hope you can find support and move towards healing.
--- --- Notes
Author Paisleytude
Posted On Thu Oct 29 17:55:56 UTC 2020
Score 6 as of Sat Oct 31 11:55:17 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
Body link
If you’re not already there exJW
--- --- Notes
Author Paisleytude
Posted On Fri Oct 30 01:00:07 UTC 2020
Score 0 as of Sat Oct 31 11:55:17 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
The ExMormons I’ve met have led me to believe they have more love thanJWs and believe in grace. They seem nicer, although still culty
--- --- Notes
Author orbdragon
Posted On Fri Oct 30 00:49:58 UTC 2020
Score 2 as of Sat Oct 31 11:55:17 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
Body link
exmormon also has some excellent support, which OP has already discovered. Nevermo here, but their stories help me recognize bad behavior and support those who've escaped. I've now subbed to exjw for the same reasons.
--- --- Notes
Author medlilove
Posted On Thu Oct 29 18:28:16 UTC 2020
Score 2 as of Sat Oct 31 11:55:17 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
hugs do you know Jimmy Snow, Telltale and God is grey on youtube? JS grew up Mormon, T is ex JW and GiG is a progressive Christian who survived fundimentalism. They all talk about what they survived and advocate against these religious cult types. Jimmy is pansexual and often talks about his upbringing and how much he's healed and grown now away from all that. Its a very healing community you might be able to relate to them❤️
submitted by jw_mentions to jw_mentions [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 17:02 Expatb Best Romance Books of the Decade (2010-2019) according to r/RomanceBooks

This is it. This for real, is the Grand Poobah and the culmination of everyone looking up their favorite books, only to find out they were published in 2008 or 2009! Prepare yourself for a long post with many links. And I sincerely apologize for the length. Strap in, it's gonna be long!
First off, thank you to everyone who participated, by either nominating and/or voting in our Best of the Decade Romance books poll. Below you will find the top three (and in some cases the top one) books in every category polled.
Descriptions of books are linked to Goodreads, and not included here as the post became too long. Quoted text is from the person who nominated the book as to why they felt it should be one of the best.
For a quick look at all books nominated you can find the spreadsheet I used to track here.
Best Fantasy Romance - Nomination Thread
1st Place: A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas, 2016; YA, M/F, Open door; nominated by u/failedsoapopera
Why I love this book so much:
*It deals with real mental health issues within an interesting & rich fantasy world>
*The chemistry between the main characters is on point
*It has so many favorite tropes: friends to lovers, fated mates, there's only one bed!, training montages, etc.
*Watching Feyre find self worth, power, and purpose, as well as friendship and love is just so healing for me
*It straddles the line between NA and regular fantasy, but I think it deserves a place in the fantasy contest because it was widely loved, made an impact on the romance world when it was released, and while there are some technical issues with SJM's writing IMO, it's a well-crafted, fun, and heartwarming story. Plus, it's got a great cliffhanger.
2nd Place: Radiance by Grace Draven, 2015; M/F, open door; nominated by u/Hrylla
This book fits so many of the things I personally like
*Friends-to-lovers
*Altar diplomacy (arranged marriage)
*Strong heroine
*"Ugly" hero
*Besides that the pace and story just flows so nicely. Being a sucker for world building I also thoroughly enjoyed myself (that weird dish where she had to kill the pie? Great!).
*It also features such swoon worth quotes as: "Woman of day," he said slowly. "You mean everything to me.”
3rd Place: Uprooted by Naomi Novik, 2015, YA, M/F, Close Door; nominated by u/SphereMyVerse
To be quite honest I’m nominating this one cos it was one of the first fantasy romances I read, and I think it needs to be here! It was a huge hit at the time. It’s the classic immortal hero with deeply ridiculous name meets and is awful to a feisty young woman, who gives as good as she gets despite the weird power dynamic. It‘s a go-to rec for a newbie to fantasy romance.
Also it should have been F/F, Kasia and Agnieszka had way more chemistry, Sarkan was just tolerable some of the time, thank you for listening to my TED talk
Best Debut Novel: Nomination Thread
1st Place: The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang, 2018; CR, M/F, Open Door, Own Voices; nominated by u/nmnenado
An obvious nomination and continuous top rec on the sub. This book gender-flips the Pretty Woman trope and gets points for featuring racial- and neuro-diversity, no-shame sex work, a sweet love story, and super steamy sex.
2nd Place: Bringing Down the Duke by Evie Dunmore, 2019; HR, M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/Yellowtail799
Annabelle Archer, the brilliant destitute daughter of a country vicar, meets Sebastian Devereux, the cold and calculating Duke of Montgomery. She has earned a place at Oxford, rare as she is one of the first female students, and it is dependent upon her support of women's suffrage. He is looking for a wife, not an outspoken commoner who may upset his political position. Love ensues.
Quality Points: historically rich; the problem that separates them from being together is actually dealt with (not waved away) in a way that makes sense.
3rd Place: The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, 2016; CR, M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/expatb
This book took contemporary romance by storm and skyrocketed Sally Thorne to stardom. She created a great enemies to lovers story with a secretly pining hero that was hard to resist for many a reader. Including me! I loved Lucy and Josh and the sweetness that developed between them.
This book was so popular and well liked that many (including me) had such high expectations for her second novel that there was no way she could live up to it and the book fell flat. To this day, The Hating Game is one of the most recommended CR, enemies to lovers book out there.
Best Historical - Medieval - Nomination Thread
1st Place: Never Seduce a Scot by Maya Banks, 2012; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/seantheaussie
No reason given.
2nd Place: Agnes Moor's Wild Knight by Alyssa Cole, 2014; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/expatb
I think that there is a real talent to tell a story in a shorter format, and Alyssa Cole is mastering that with her novellas. Her ability to have a set-up, build a relationship, have a nice level of steam and have me buy in to it all in 50 pages, is something to be lauded.
I loved this novella about Agnes, who is a black courtier in James IV court. I felt that there was a real connection between Agnes and the Wild Knight, which is a switch for me, as someone who doesn't like short timelines, or insta-love. But it really worked for me. I loved that her Highlander had come for her - it was HOT.
I also really enjoyed the uniqueness of having a black character in that setting. In reality, they existed, but we don't see them too often in books and the fact that she is present and has a mind and is basically a diplomat for James made me really like Agnes and this story.
3rd Place: Far, Bright, and Terrible by Elizabeth Kingston, 2017; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/SaMnReader
I could have nominated any of this series. Kingston takes difficult characters and has believable growth through the book. This one was very emotional, taking a character that was loathed and felt irredeemable in the prior book and giving her a love story to end all love stories. The hero is a teddy bear, the heroine is a manipulative, powerful force made so by her excellent backstory. The story reckons with the girl she was and the woman she became-and the hero loving her for it all.
And Nick Boulton reads the audio.
Best LGBTQI Books - Thread
1st Place: Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, 2019; CR, M/M, Open Door; nominated by u/arsenal_kate
It’s just so incredibly charming and sweet. It’s perfect escapism, both on the relationship level and on the political level.
2nd Place: Glitterland by Alexis Hall, 2013; CR, M/M; nominated by u/eros_bittersweet
A highly-educated writer with bipolar disorder is smitten at first sight with a skinny-jeans-wearing, glitterly-epauletted Essex lad. They have a flirtation in which Ash, the writer, castigates himself for the attraction he feels towards Darian, who he initially thinks is as brainless as he is unapologetically tacky: "Hunjad Pacent!" But all is not what it seems. During their initial hookup Darian is thoughtful and caring, beyond what one would expect of a one-night-stand, and he expresses interest in dating Ash. As their relationship progresses, he demonstrates that he is the better person of the two and that he is good for Ash in every way: he brings him down to earth, he forces him to think of others. His every action, from cooking him dinner to bringing him timely wet-wipes, is thoughtful and demonstrative of his care. But Ash's obstacles to love are many, and all of them are within himself. He must overcome his own prejudices against Darian's background, and his personal demons, which tell him he does not deserve love, to be the partner Darian deserves.
A very modern story about pride and prejudice, this book is, in my opinion, just in another class of storytelling. Not only is Ash's prejudice against Darian a theme, but so is our own prejudice as the reader, in (most likely) assuming Ash is the more worthy man of the two. In Ash's metaphorically laden internal monologues, which are wildly creative, his imagery quite often becomes overwrought and disproportionate to the events and things described. Doubt creeps in gradually: is Ash, so very intelligent and privileged, not sometimes just as absurd as Darian can be, if not more so? Isn't Darian, Essex Salt-of-the-Earth, actually a lovely person; his goodness, emotional intelligence and instinctive sense of rightness just as worthy of our esteem as Ash's cleverness? Alexis Hall's intensely immersive first-person narrative tells a love story that also makes us question our own prejudices. And as the book unfolds, we judge each of the heroes less for their ways of expressing themselves. By the end of the book, I found I was unable to be amused at Ash's hyperbole when I understood how much pain lurked behind it, and understood that Darian's absurdities mattered far less than his good heart.
Ash's burdensome inner life is a heartbreaking picture of bipolar disorder. This is a book that does not use mental illness to force drama upon the plot: one of the most affective moments of the book is when Ash builds a simple trip to the grocery store into a psychological crisis. His actions, though they stem from his illness, are often selfish, yet we see how much it hurts him to carry them out, how much he loathes himself for things done out of a sense of self-preservation. Importantly, he does not need to become perfect or healed to win Darian's love: he must merely accept himself as deserving of it.
It's a wonderful, thematically rich book with a beautiful love story as its heart.
3rd Place: The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller, 2011; HR, M/M, Closed Door; nominated by u/expatb
This book is beautifully written. Miller's prose and the fact that she is a high school classics teacher as her main job helps with the intimate knowledge she has of the Iliad and the time period, which shines through in her storytelling. She fills in the blanks left by Homer in his epic poem and creates such a believable love story between Patroclus and Achilles. This book was great.
Best Contemporary Novel - Nomination Thread
1st Place: The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang, 2018; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/theheartofanartichok
I think this book deserves to win because it was unique and very sexy. I loved the hero and the way this book treated both autism and sex work. I can’t think of another book that made me sigh and swoon the way TKQ did.
2nd Place: Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert, 2019; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/expatb
This was the first book I had ever read by Hibbert and what an introduction! This book blew me away with the humor, the steam, and the representation of people with illnesses that aren’t immediately apparent. They way that she handles both characters and their issues so deftly and weaves them into the story is amazing and set the bar (high) for me. Red became instant book boyfriend material. And Chloe was someone I really wanted to get to know and hang out with.
I enjoyed it so much, that immediately after I read it, I sent it to a few of my friends for them to read.
3rd Place: Pretty Face by Lucy Parker, 2017; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/1RexManningFan
*Both characters are genuinely likable
*Slow burn romance. You know it's inevitable, the characters know it's inevitable, but they try to resist
*Obstacles to HEA are not contrived. Feels realistic and again, characters are aware of their issues but work around them
*Unique setting - London theatre world
Best Paranormal Romance - Nomination Thread
1st Place: Clean Sweep by Ilona Andrews, 2013; M/F; nominated by u/expatb
This was the first book that I read by Andrews and it was fantastic. I loved the slow burn and the alternate universe that they created. A house that is magical and tied to the witch who keeps it? Yes, please. While I don’t tend to favor vampires and werewolves, I really enjoyed the ones in this book! If that doesn’t make it the greatest, nothing will.
2nd Place: Burn for Me by Ilona Andrews, 2011; M/F; nominated by u/Scavengerhawk
This book/series is one of a kind. A kickass heroine who LOVES her family and respects herself. The Hero is intimidating and powerful but respects her, listens to her, relies on her knowledge/power when they pair up. It's a slow burn with a lot of character development. You fall in love with her quirky grandmother and her war-veteran mother. She always strives to do the right thing and is true to herself.
Amazing plot, amazing story, and the perfect slow-burn with just enough banteflirting.
3rd Place: Once Burned by Jeaniene Frost, 2012; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/Needednewusername
I believe this book should win because both characters have powers that make the other more vulnerable than they had ever been in the past, and that vulnerability leads to a truly beautiful love story!
Best Historical - Georgian/Regency - Nomination Thread
1st Place: A Week to be Wicked by Tessa Dare, 2012; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/seantheaussie
Tessa Dare's A Week to Be Wicked is fucking awesome. I spent my time reading it feeling warm inside, with a smile on my face and often squirmed and hummed with happiness. It peaks at the second greatest romantic moment I have yet read.
2nd Place: Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt, 2016; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/mirukushake
*The hero of this book is a uniquely mercurial, vain, and cunning villain, without being an asshole
*One of the darkest hero backstories this side of the 2000s
*Heroine has been given a raw deal in life but still takes pride in what she does, and can find the good in others, including the bad boy hero
*Hot bathtub-related sex
3rd Place: When Beauty Tamed the Beast by Eloisa James, 2011; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/mirukushake
*House M.D., but make it Georgian and add some beauty and the beast vibes
*The characters act in very ridiculous and anachronistic ways, but their banter is so hilariously snarky it works anyway
*The MCs actually spend time together and get to know each other in real ways, and the ending of the book beautifully shows just how deep their feelings are
Best Young Adult/New Adult Romance - Nomination Thread
1st Place: A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas, 2015; FR, M/F, open door; nominated by u/expatb
I feel like Maas almost singlehandedly created the “New Adult” genre. She certainly did for me. This book creates such a beautiful - and hot! - story that gaps that younger reader to adult reader so seamlessly. Plus, it’s a Beauty and the Beast retelling, which is one of my absolute favorites. I thought Feyre was such an interesting heroine and I enjoyed reading about her journey and her ability to take on some very tough situations.
With how much I enjoyed this one, maybe I’ll finally read the follow up books someday!
2nd Place: The Deal by Elle Kennedy, 2015; CR, M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/urchicken
This book is such a great introductory book into the New Adult genre. I love the banter between the two MCs. I love that they established a friendship before jumping into bed together. This book was light hearted and fun with just a touch of angst. Also the hero is a hot hockey player, who doesn’t love that?
3rd Place: Autoboyography by Christina Lauren, 2017; CR, M/M; nominated by u/booksandwine99
This is a YA m/m romance. It's senior year of high school, and Tanner is a bisexual non-mormon living in Provo, Utah (an area with 98% mormon population). He can't wait to get out of there, and has no plans on meeting anyone in Utah. Then BYU college student Sebastian TA's in his creative writing class and sparks fly. The problem is, Sebastian is a poster boy for devout mormonism and is leaving on a two year mission for the church in a few short months.
I may have loved this more because I am an ex-mormon, but I still reccomend it even if you don't have any knowledge of mormon culture. Christina or Lauren either have history with the church or they did their research because it is spot on. I liked the characters and it had just the right amount of conflict and angst.
Best Historical - Western/Americana - No Thread (only one nomination)
Tempest by Miss Beverly Jenkins, 2018; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/grumpyblonde
This book was my first foray into Beverly Jenkins and I loved it! This book has an independent, adventurous heroine (who is a crack shot btw) and a closed-off grumpy hero who mourning the death of his wife and trying to raise their daughter. The characters build a friendship, learn to communicate and bring out the best in each other. Regan, the heroine, updates the hero's outdated views about women. The book delves into the challenges of being black in the US in the 1800s and complex family dynamics. Their daughter is so precious and the main characters have some great chemistry!
Best Science Fiction - Nomination Thread
1st Place: The Last Hour of Gann by R Lee Smith, 2013; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/jaynarg
I've been waiting for what feels like forever for this thread! This book is seriously worthy of awards. It's amazing. Coming close to 1000 pages, it has everything. Humans crash landing on an alien planet. Aliens (of course). The writing is wonderful. The world building...wow. The story is just amazing. After I read this the first time it stuck in my head for months. I'm actually rereading it right now. If you read this book, proceed with caution. TW: this book contains a lot of rape
2nd Place: Starflight by Melissa Landers, 2016; M/F, YA; nominated by u/everymovieapicture
In the words of Stefon, this book has everything. A found family space crew! Space class differences between a space aristocrat hero and a scrappy, badass underdog heroine! That heroine using the hero's temporary amnesia to force him to act as her servant and position her as the aristocrat instead! Naked cuddling for warmth! And so, so much more.
Truly, this book scratches every Sci-Fi romance itch for me. Beautiful yet approachable world-building, fantastic characters, a great supporting cast, and of course, a heart-throbbing romance that's good until "And they lived happily ever after."
3rd Place: This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohter and Max Gladstone, 2019; F/F; nominated by u/MedievalGirl
This novella won all the science fiction awards in the last year. It is also a great romance with exquisite prose. Red and Blue are agents for rivals in the Time Wars. Their taunting messages to each other in tree rings and tea (among other odd things) turn to love letters.
Best Historical - Victorian/Edwardian/Golden Age books - Nomination Thread
1st Place: The Duchess War by Courtney Milan, 2012; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/SaMnReader
A book that for me, comes down to moments. There isn't one particular thing in this book that I can point to and say "that," but the way the arc is constructed, the lack of sacrifice on the part of the heroine, and a hero who ultimately just loves her as she is for who she is. The fact that Robert has some of the best lines does not hurt, including "Look up," Minnie is introverted, and assertive, and is certainly no "mouse". I love a heroine who believe she deserves more than the plan and course her life is taking and despite it being hard, she decides to change it. Robert is a hero and a character who is ideal but not without flaws, he's someone to aspire to.
I've read this book 4-5 times. I think, "Oh,I 'll just read a chapter" and find myself sucked in by the charm, the humor, and the earnestness of it. It's sparkles, it shines, and the moment they meet is one of the best meet cutes in my opinion.
This book does exist in a world that is being set and built and is heavily enriched by the series and the prequel, but it delighted me when I first read it, and it delights me more now.
2nd Place: Ravishing the Heiress by Sherry Thomas, 2012; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/SaMnReader
A most unusual and heartbreaking romance, never easy. It would be easy to reduce this to a romance about a guy who cheats on his wife and woman who stupidly waits for his husband to love her and see her.
Only see, that's not what this is. That's barely a part of the plot even though this discussion dominates low ratings. I submit, instead, this is a book of a man and a woman not given a choice in their partners and learning how to live with it. This is unrequited love and friends to lovers. This is about who you grow to be and reconciling your past with your present.
Millie is one of the most understated tough and amazing heroines. She could launch a thousand essays for the question of what strength is. She's their foundation. I'll hear nothing else.
Here is part of my review: won't recap, but I'll definitely say in many ways this isn't an easy read. And it would be easy to malign Fitz for his choices and seemingly constant rejection of Millie, but part of why this book worked was that he, too, was rejected time and again by her. I'm not sure why he'd think anything but what he thought, and his appreciation of her really did ring true from the very early 'bricks' of their relationship. He maintains respect, honesty, and friendship for his wife in a lovely way.
And friendship is such a lovely foundation, isn't it? I think the choices in this book were brave and made for a unique plot. It would be easy to have Fitz hung up on his long forgotten lover but Thomas made her available to him, and in the end that's what set this book apart.
So a couple random paragraphs there, but in the end I'll just say this: I loved their quiet humor, I loved their quiet strength, and I loved their quiet and powerful love.
3rd Place: Love in the Afternoon by Lisa Kleypas, 2010; M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/expatb
This is one of my favorite books by her. And I think I've re-read it as many times as I have read my other favorites by Kleypas, which is saying something since the others were published 15 years prior. I absolutely adored the epistolary, Cyrano feel to the beginning of the book. It set up everything so beautifully.
I think this is one of the first historical romances that I read that dealt with PTSD after a war. I thought it was handled really well. It wasn't cured by a magical vagina, nor some crackpot remedy. It was work and patience.
I Love Beatrix and Christopher, they are so great together. Everything about this book hits the spot for me. It's so good!
Best Erotic Romance - Nomination Thread
1st Place: Priest by Sierra Simone, 2015; CR, M/F; nominated by u/canquilt
This book is elegant, deep, and sexy. Simone gives the main character a crisis of conscience and forces him to choose between personal happiness and his religious community. She weaves theological aspects with sexual ones and does it very artfully. The sex scenes themselves are absolutely out of this world.
2nd Place: Desperate Measures by Katee Robert, 2019; M/F, CR; nominated by u/expatb
Wow, this book packs a punch! This was the first book I've read by Katee Robert and it knocked me upside the head and then pushed me around. I honestly went into this book thinking I wasn't going to like it because I didn't want my childhood to be destroyed. Who knew I wanted Jasmine and Jafar together? Who knew that a sex club run by Hades would be fascinating? (Seriously, though, he's really the only one who could run this club!). And Whoooo-boy was this book hot! It has since spawned six books in the same universe.
Robert knows how to keep the focus so close, in that there's not a lot of external factors, or movement. So much of the plot takes place in an apartment, but it doesn't feel claustrophobic for a minute. That takes talent. And Katee Robert has it.
3rd Place (tie): For Real by Alexis Hall, 2018; CR, M/M; nominated by u/jrooknroll
This book is both sexy and sweet. The writing is incredible. I think this is Hall’s best work.
Added thoughts by u/eros_bitersweet
The erotica is absolutely central to the relationship and drives its progression. Firstly, the expected personas of the dom and sub are completely swapped: Laurie is the half of the partnership powerful IRL with his job in medicine, while Toby is the young, relatively innocent side of the couple who is finding his path in life. In one scene of the novel, Toby really does need Laurie to take charge of a chaotic situation at work, so he can get through it without quitting. And yet Toby is perfectly capable of rubbing shoulders with the educated crowd at Oxford and feeling comfortable, more able to charm them and impress them than Laurie with his knowledge and talent. Who you are in the outside world does not dictate how you experience desire and intimacy.
It's also not just that the kink illustrates what the characters want: the BDSM in this book is also about how they exchange vulnerability. This novel is really about the experience of vicarious desire. Individual longing for the other is layered on top of anticipation of the other's desire, then satisfaction at seeing that desire experienced, a dynamic which zings back and forth between the pair, giving and taking and giving, until it culminates in an overabundance of both feeling and erotic experience.comment continues here (shortened for overall post length)
3rd Place (tie): The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang, 2018; CR, M/F; nominated by u/seantheaussie
THE most popular romance book of the past few years who's appeal is based upon its heat. You know full well that even though you are not on the spectrum like Stella, you wish Michael was servicing you.
Historical - General - Only one nomination, no thread.
The Haunting of Maddy Clare by Simone St. James, 2012; M/F, open door; nominated by u/DancingMarshmallow
I’m nominating this because, while including some paranormal/ghost story elements, it has such lovely attention to detail and its setting of 1920s England: the clothes, the cars, the technology, WWI, the changing culture (especially women entering the work force in more ways). I also love that it uses the setting in a non-stereotypical way. Yes, this is the Roaring 20s, but no gangsters or flappers to be had here. And the setting matters, which I think is important in HR. The basic plot could happen in another time, but the setting isn’t just window dressing here: it influences how our characters act and think. chef’s kiss
Best Romantic Suspense - Nomination Thread
1st Place: Tinderbox by Rachel Grant, 2017; CR, M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/expatb
This was the first book that I read by Grant, based on a recommendation from this sub and it did not disappoint! I absolutely love reading about capable heroes and heroines. I also love when an author shows their intelligence on a topic and I fell that Grant’s experience as an archaeologist in the horn of Africa is apparent in this book. Talk about competence porn!
The fact that this book (and series) is set in an area that is not commonly seen in romance novels, and on that I admittedly know little about, made it so much better for me. I love having unique “experiences” through my reading when in reality I would most likely not be able to go to a place, etc.
The romance of this book is great! It’s hot and it front and center and quick and snappy. Just what I want when I want a plot with lots of action and some shenanigans.
2nd Place: The Search by Nora Roberts , 2010; CR, M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/expatb
This is probably one of the last books I’ve read by Roberts. I have since moved on from bingeing all of her books right as they hit the shelves. But she has to be acknowledged as an author who knows her craft. Admittedly, it’s been a long while since I’ve read this book, but I do have very distinct images and impressions in my head of when I read it. And I feel that that alone is a testament to Robert’s ability to create a story that sticks with you. The atmosphere that she created in this book is what sticks with me the most. In a suspense novel, I personally think that the atmosphere should be a leading character, and this book delivers. I also like to read about a character in distress and the love interest who doesn’t want anyone, but can’t help but make moves to protect the other. Swoon
3rd Place: Firestorm (Flashpoint #3) by Rachel Grant, 2018; CR, M/F, Open Door; nominated by u/seantheaussie
Contains a member of my Pantheon of Heroines and she, and her Hero, Get. Shit. Done. whether standing shoulder to shoulder, back to back or penis in vagina (to be honest only one thing gets accomplished in that last position, but it is VERY accomplished.)
Whew! If you've actually read through this whole thing, thank you! And I hope you enjoyed the past 10 weeks or so of discussions. Thanks again to all!
Edit: thanks for all the love! Hope this fills your TBR a bit more. Happy reading!!
submitted by Expatb to RomanceBooks [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 16:18 BlancheFromage Dictionary of SGI Buzzwords, Catchphrases, and Clichés

Within the SGI, there is a "private language" that only the indoctrinated members understand. New recruits typically find this a bit confusing, but it also presents itself as a compelling challenge to master this new language, in order to become "fluent" with the group and feel like a "real member". Even when the words are English words, SGI uses a different definition, which makes their speech confusing and difficult to understand.
But here is your solution! The Big List of SGI words, concepts, phrases, and clichés all broken down in plain English - your very own SGITropes!
We've been kind of working on this "behind the scenes" for a while now - time to bring it all together! Add your suggestions below (unless they're in the Big List linked above - I'll get to those) and I'll work them into the master document. I'm in the process of working on this; I'm going to be saving it periodically so I don't lose it and so I can see that the formatting's good. Alphabetically:

A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

submitted by BlancheFromage to sgiwhistleblowers [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 04:44 jw_mentions /r/AskReddit - "Jehovah's witnesses, how's it going knowing that everyone is at home but you can't visit them?"

I am a bot! Please send NotListeningItsABook a private message with any comments or feedback on how I work.
EDIT: As of Fri Oct 23 23:38:47 UTC 2020, the post is at [3199pts35c]

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Submission Jehovah's witnesses, how's it going knowing that everyone is at home but you can't visit them?
Comments Jehovah's witnesses, how's it going knowing that everyone is at home but you can't visit them?
Author SWEIAP
Subreddit /AskReddit
Posted On Wed Oct 21 23:39:28 UTC 2020
Score 3199 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:47 UTC 2020
Total Comments 555

Post Body:

[removed]

Related Comments (35):

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Author bonobomaster
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:02:41 UTC 2020
Score 20 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:16 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
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Ahm, we are talking about Jehovah's Witnesses not about the Amish
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Author eightiesladies
Posted On Thu Oct 22 02:49:15 UTC 2020
Score 3 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:16 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
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This is the best approach. There are many activeJW's who are closeted "Apostates." They do not believe it is the true religion, and they dont want ro be involved, but they are held hostage under threat of being shunned by loved ones if they share their true opinions. Apostasy or spreading divisions are disfellowshipping offenses. Disfellowshipped witnesses are shunned by all other members, even immediate family. Voluntarily disassociating yields the same treatment. They are called PIMO (physically in, mentally out). Be nice and dont argue with them. It could very well be a pimo who already agrees with you but cant say it, and hates being at your door even more than you do.
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Author missionman77
Posted On Thu Oct 22 00:57:02 UTC 2020
Score 5 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:16 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
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Ironically I got a hand written letter in the mail from a Jehovahs Witness yesterday that said they wish the could come by and if I was open to discussing my faith to call them.
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Author Gobistro00
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:20:41 UTC 2020
Score 8 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:18 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 7
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I think the preferred term is jdubs 😅
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Author Bisexualdw
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:25:03 UTC 2020
Score 3 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:18 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
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Used to be a JW and this made me cackle. But they usually find a way. All the brochures left on your door.
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Author SmedusaZ
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:16:18 UTC 2020
Score 7 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:19 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 9
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Nah, I don’t mind it at all. I miss going door to door with my friends and having productive conversations with people.
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Author thetexangypsy
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:17:37 UTC 2020
Score 6 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:19 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
I've become theJW's pet project in my neighborhood.
They still come by.
I think I'm on my 3rd set of missionaries now.
I'll give it to them, they're persistent.
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Author shadesgonewild
Posted On Thu Oct 22 00:48:05 UTC 2020
Score 56 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:20 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 12
Body link
Not a JW, I got a letter in the mail from a local JW I’ve never been to, seen, or even knew existed until I looked up the letter’s address. I’d say they are just fine using the local Yellow Pages
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Author LiteBriteJorge
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:12:29 UTC 2020
Score 21 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:21 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 4
Body link
My family has received a JW letter. Honestly it was very thoughtful and even if the ideology isn't shared, the message was well received.
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Author martianvirus
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:31:15 UTC 2020
Score 5 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:21 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
I actually got a text from a JW back when the lockdowns started. No idea how they got my number...
edit no I remembered wrong, it was actually a voicemail
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Author jxwtf585
Posted On Thu Oct 22 00:38:45 UTC 2020
Score 762 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:24 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 22
Body link
I'm a cable guy and had a service call at a JW home. Legit this is what they do. The gentleman was dressed from waist up for church and from waist down for cheeto eating TV time.
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Author Clokkers
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:24:14 UTC 2020
Score 7 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:24 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
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My grandparents areJWs in England, they dress up all fancy and zoom call all their friends for mini meetings. I actually think it’s quite nice that they’ve learnt how to use zoom all together considering the average age there is 70
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Author CuratorOfYourDreams
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:25:41 UTC 2020
Score 6 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:24 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
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Cue exjw
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Author ClothDiaperAddicts
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:17:42 UTC 2020
Score 2 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:24 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
Legit. Once a month, we get a letter from the localJWs.
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Author artinthebeats
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:07:26 UTC 2020
Score 7 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:29 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 16
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Can you smoke weed as a JW?
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Author posifour11
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:37:13 UTC 2020
Score 3 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:29 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
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Not a JW, but they've been more than cordial.
I went to my great aunt's funeral and it wasn't pushed on us. The funeral was graveside and there was a great prayer.
They said there would be a different one for the JW folks.
To answer the question- they send letters.
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Author Cinno1826
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:23:06 UTC 2020
Score 13 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:29 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
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I have a co-worker that's a jehovas Witness and she wrote a bunch of letters personalized to most of the other workers here. It was basically the same stuff they would say at your door, but it was kind of nice because she added personal touches since she actually knows us.
I'd kind of hate having someone come to my door and preach to me while I stood there awkwardly, but a personalized letter I could read alone on my own time wasn't so bad.
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Author DorothyZbornakAttack
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:35:36 UTC 2020
Score 8 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:31 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 15
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I work at a funeral home, we regularly get letters from Jehovah’s Witnesses with pamphlets about death. We got more during Covid. The really gross thing they do is they’ll browse the obituaries on our website & then write letters to the families of people who have died and try to convert them. I think it’s really unethical to try to convert someone to your religion when they’re at a low point in their life. They’re purposely targeting people who are vulnerable.
Edited for clarity: they’ll mail the letters to families to us. We mail cards etc. that people send to families if they missed a visitation, but we’re not passing on religious literature.
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Author yoginiph
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:19:05 UTC 2020
Score 2 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:32 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
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Don’t think so. My mum is a JW as well. Doing that will appear as a form of disrespect to Jehovah. They still conduct their church services via zoom. They still do bible study through online calls.
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Author AshamedMixture1
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:07:24 UTC 2020
Score 9 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:33 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 6
Body link
is Reddit allowed forJWs?
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Author Astramancer_
Posted On Thu Oct 22 00:28:21 UTC 2020
Score 593 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:42 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 62
Body link
Because that doesn't fulfill the purpose of witnessing.
The point isn't to convert people -- that's just a bonus if it happens.
The point is to reinforce the idea that the world is a hostile place and the only place of safety and acceptance is the church. They spend hours getting doors slammed in their face and being told to fuck off, and after all that negativity they come back to their JW congregation and commiserate at how awful nonJW's are.
Dropping off leaflets doesn't increase the Otherness of non-JW's and increase the reliance on the group the same way.
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Author withlovesparrow
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:17:04 UTC 2020
Score 117 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:42 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
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I think I'm just now realizing why the nice JW lady doesn't come to my house anymore. I had a minute so I humored her for a chat. She asked me if I knew why they were calledJWs and I gave the right answer. Dated a barely believing JW in high school, I know some shit.
I have a Buddha by my front door and she asked about it. I told her I liked the morals and beliefs if Buddhism and other religions but never felt particularly religious. Just being a good person because its the right thing and not because a god tells you to is more my jam. It was over all really nice and polite and I enjoyed talking to her.
But she never came back. None of them have. I dont even get a leaflet. All because I was nice.
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Author Sammygirl2780
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:24:19 UTC 2020
Score 3 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:42 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
Body link
Jdubs? I have never heard this term before. My bad 😀
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Author nezbe5
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:00:24 UTC 2020
Score 384 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:43 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 39
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My mother once spent a summer reading the entire Bible for the first time. Because no way thoseJWs were going to know more than her on their next visit. She is a bit stubborn.
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Author youngseahag
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:10:57 UTC 2020
Score 3 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:43 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
I literally got a letter today in the mail from a JW. it was handwritten and an entire page long
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Author ValhallaFalling
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:23:38 UTC 2020
Score 10 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:44 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
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I use to have an old man in his 80s come around every week and talk to me about Jehovah's Witness here in Australia. He had a carer come along and everything.
I'm in no way religious and wasn't interested in join but I enjoyed talking to him about it. He had some pretty modern/futuristic views on it as well.
We were doing that once a week for a couple of months, then he just stopped coming one week. I really hope I was able to bring him some enjoyment and connection in them months. I sure got a lot out of it.
I think more people need to hear them out, most just want some human connection and to share what they love.
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Author herculeesjr
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:20:10 UTC 2020
Score 3 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:44 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
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I have a JW friend, and he gets high on special occasions. Not too often but I'd say the opinion could vary from person to person. I'm like... a JW in training so I don't count. Lol
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Author toad__warrior
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:30:12 UTC 2020
Score 3 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:44 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
Not a JW, but I have gotten calls from them. I do not think the call was targeted, but they left a nice VM about reaching out during these troubling times.
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Author Seyda0
Posted On Thu Oct 22 02:03:05 UTC 2020
Score 5 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:44 UTC 2020
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Man that's crazy, good for them. What if tho, like maybe the Australian government for example created, I dunno a legal entity called the Australian Royal Comission to check into rampage unreported child sexual abuse by the JW church? And then that ARC found over 1000 cases of child sex abuse without a single reported case to the authorities? Sure would be amazing ifJWs made some changes to their rules. Maybe one day...
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Author Routine_Left
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:31:00 UTC 2020
Score 6 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:44 UTC 2020
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JW allow alcohol consumption in moderation.
Oh, I can see how it works.
See, one beer per man is moderation, ok? But if I drink one beer I become a new man. This man deserves a beer too, don't you think? But if this man drinks a beer he becomes a new man. Then that man deserves a beer, after all it's in moderation, just one beer.
All the way until the man left is no longer a JW.
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Author hawkwolfe
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:21:43 UTC 2020
Score 3 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:44 UTC 2020
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TheJWs sent me a letter, but the Baptists just came by my door without masks. Waiting for the other denominations to make their moves, but the ranking is clear so far.
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Author capn_gingerbeard
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:19:47 UTC 2020
Score 10 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:44 UTC 2020
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Haha totally did this today for a meeting (not a JW just working from home)
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Author sumthinsticky
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:30:29 UTC 2020
Score 4 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:44 UTC 2020
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I recently sold my house and I got a text from the buyer saying I received a piece of mail. It wasn’t incredibly inconvenient, but I drove out of my way to go get it. It was a legit handwritten letter from a Jehovah’s Witness apologizing for not visiting in person. 🤦‍♂️
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Author TomPalmer1979
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:28:22 UTC 2020
Score 6 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:45 UTC 2020
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I always passed Jehovah's Witnesses off as an annoying group of religious nutjobs. Like Mormons are too, but most Mormons are nice, like their whole pitch on their religion is like "Hey we're going to this cool party in the afterlife, wanna come?" JWs are rude and pushy and fearmongering.
But then I listened to some of their congregational meetings/sermons. I used to work for a captioned telephone company, and they did this call-in thing for church members who were sick or too elderly to make it to the Kingdom Hall. They'd call in with one of our special phones, and we'd have to caption the whole thing.
They are an evil fucking cult. They are scary. Their meetings are nothing short of brainwashing, teaching their members how to guilt and exploit people into being brainwashed too. They're a dangerous cult, and if you ever see the opportunity to rescue a member from their clutches, do so.
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Author merlin401
Posted On Thu Oct 22 01:06:31 UTC 2020
Score 68 as of Fri Oct 23 23:38:47 UTC 2020
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For all their faults I think it’s fair to giveJWs props. As soon as shit hit the fan in March they cancelled all their conventions, suspended in person church service indefinitely (corrently at least through February) and stopped all in person witnessing work indefinitely. Pandemic-wise, they did their part
submitted by jw_mentions to jw_mentions [link] [comments]


2020.10.01 07:33 HaroldHerb Trying to be myself

So my friend who's on a mission in Arizona emailed me and asked me how I was doing since it had been a while since I'd written to him. In case anyone wants a good gay Mormon sob story, I decided to copy and paste the email into a Google Doc to share with people I'm coming out to (warning: kinda long).
Link to my letter
tldr, this is coming off the heels of me finishing my own mission, part of which I served in Japan and the rest in my hometown as a service missionary after my mission president mentally abusing and gaslighting me, among a whole lot of other shit I have going on.
I want to start dating other guys at my school, but every time I open up Tinder I panic and close it. I'm too scared to tell my parents that I want to date guys (I came out to them but they've had the don't-ask-don't-tell approach where if we ignore it long enough it will go away). I only just recently came out to my brothers, so the circle of people I'm out to is small. My dad is super hardcore MAGA and pretty homophobic, though he hasn't said that he hates me for being gay, but I really don't think he'll support me in a gay relationship, and I do rely on my parents financially since I'm a zoomer in pre-med; I've got no money and no time to make money.
I don't want to be involved in the church anymore because any organization that tells people to suppress their sexuality and illegally uses their money to promote less civil rights for people is toxic, not to mention the shitty Utah Mormon MAGA culture I've had to deal with at church. Church is not an appropriate place to rant about how much you hate socialism, dickheads.
The closest thing I've done to dating a guy is joining my school's LGBT+ support group, which is great and I enjoy it, but it isn't exactly the environment to be looking for dates, especially since it's on Zoom. I've got an appointment with the school psychologist who specializes in working with LGBT+ students, so I'm hoping that she will be able help me build my confidence.
I've been browsing this sub on and off the past few days and seen several stories similar to mine. Does anyone have good advice? I'd greatly appreciate it.
submitted by HaroldHerb to exmormon [link] [comments]


2020.10.01 02:43 Petrichor_Solitude Do religious teachings affect the way we emotionally process death?

A Muslim colleague of mine who was born in Iraq but grew up in Southern California has been processing the death of her father, who recently passed away from COVID after 50 days in the ICU. Most days, she posts her well-composed thoughts on Facebook, often with images of flowers she’s picked or walks she has taken. She takes it day by day, thanking god for the wealth of memories she has of the good times and conversations she had with with him while he was alive. She parcels out the necessary emotional labor rather than letting the grief run rough-shod over her or falling into a depressive state wherein she is unable to do anything else in her life.
I see her method as very practical, and as my parents begin to face medical issues in which their fates are uncomfortably uncertain, I see her example as instructive, and I file it away in my head.
The first time I felt the dark specter of death drift near me was when I was 14, when my paternal grandfather died suddenly. He and I weren’t very close at all, but at the funeral, I saw him lying, pale and still, in the open casket. It disturbed and saddened me so much that and I couldn’t contain my emotions. Both my brother (12 at the time) and I were sniffling and whimpering in the pews while my dad and his siblings stood at the pulpit and shared words they had prepared. It seemed like my brother and I were the only ones having trouble “behaving”, as most others seemed dry-eyed or quiet, even though some of my cousins would have known my grandpa better than we did, simply due to living in the same state as them (Utah; I used to be a Mormon). It was quite strange, and I have often puzzled over this.
One conjecture I have is that to have been a true-believing Mormon, I would have been certain that my grandpa had passed on to a better place, and thus, my mood would not have been so bitterly sad, but would have been considerably sweetened by this faith-driven “knowledge”. Another thought I have is that my extended family were not less sad, but rather, much less inclined towards public displays of emotion... a habit perhaps passed down from salt-of-the-earth Anglo-Saxon immigrants in a religious minority that places emphasis on the cultivation of an aura of piety and domestic integrity. My dad is partial to the first theory, and we both have long believed that the social demands and expectations of living as a Mormon can stifle the experience of real emotional depth, and that living in this cult can create a restless, depressive, grayed-out life.
Indeed, since leaving the church at age 15, my life has been much more emotionally tumultuous. However, I’m not sure how much of that is due to leaving the church or due to simply growing up. One thing’s for sure: I have explored my heart much more deeply and fearlessly while living beyond the circular read-pray-read narratives of that narrow world. I know myself now. I feel less innocent and less good. I think about the eventual day of my parents’ deaths, and I wonder how I will feel. To date, two vivid nightmares in which each of my parents died - one of them despite my best efforts to save them - have pulled me through an emotional wringer before I woke up and felt depressed for a whole day afterward. In real life, when it happens, I think that though I will feel the capacity and the need within me to wallow in a dark and lonely space, the demands of adult life will quickly force me to focus and lock those feelings in a box, until an appropriate time. I am certain I will probably respond to their death(s) with carefully parceled out grief, much like my Muslim colleague did.
Is this just the natural end of growing up? Of adapting to the western society in which I live? Or is it my former religion that influences how I behave and how I allow myself to feel in this hypothetical situation? Is it her religion that influences her to behave and experience her feelings in this way? Or is everything I’m describing pretty universal in people’s experiences of the death of loved ones? For those of you who have left Islam, how do you feel the teachings of your youth have influenced the way you respond to momentous events like the deaths of people you know? Are there scriptures that were particularly meaningful to you, and which helped you get through difficult events like death of people you know... words that helped your bitter feelings turn a bit more sweet or at least a little bit less abrasive? Or, is there a place in Islam for uncontrolled displays of grief? Does the answer to this question vary by culture (I imagine the answer might be different in, say, Egypt than in, say, Pakistan)? I know there is a tradition of women wailing that can still be found in various places (Iran, for example), which goes back centuries. As I understand, one could even hire such women to perform this service at funerals. Does this date back to pre-Islamic Arabia? If so, did a Hadith cement this practice within Islam, or condemn it? What were the motivations behind this? Is there a belief that grief is something to be shown, but in very specific places and by certain people?
submitted by Petrichor_Solitude to exmuslim [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 02:43 judyblue_ I'm curious about QuitMormon

I resigned before QuitMormon was a thing. I just sent a letter to Member Services. Didn't get it notarized or anything. Didn't have my member ID #, just my name, birth date, and the last ward I'd attended. Had to make one follow up phone call about 6 weeks later, but then got my confirmation a week or so after that. Easy peasy.
Perusing this sub the last few years, it seems like everybody uses QuitMormon now. It's a great service and I'm glad it's there for people, but I wonder how necessary it is? I'm not asking to be disparaging, I'm genuinely curious. Has anybody who resigned in the last few years done so with a simple letter, like I did? Does the church not accept those anymore? Is the choice to use QuitMormon about keeping better track of how many leave, or keeping an extra barrier between you and the church, or what?
submitted by judyblue_ to exmormon [link] [comments]


2020.09.26 01:00 borednightnurse1990 My Life in the Military, Chapter 2

NSFW
GRAPHIC CONTENT
CRUDE LANGUAGE
SEX
MILD VIOLENCE
TOBACCO AND ALCOHOL USE
SCENES DEPICTING REGULAR GARBAGE AND RECYCLING GOING INTO THE SAME BIN
SERIOUSLY, WHO’S THE CHIEF BUMBLEFUCK IN CHARGE OF NETFLIX’S PARENTAL ADVISORY MESSAGES?!?
okay, how about a more appropriate title for this post?
YOU CAN EITHER BE A FIERCE AMAZON, OR A CAMO WRAPPED VAGINAL LIFE SUPPORT
Based on the crude sub-sub title for this episode, one can safely guess how strongly i feel about this issue.
Yes dear reader. And to you 15 redditors who sent me chat messages and the other 26 who sent me direct messages asking for my input about military life as a woman. Finally, you will get the answers you are looking for.
As usual, before i begin on my usual rant, let me start off with an intro.
INTRO
Be advised, i may or may not be a wee bit tipsy while writing this. I find i write best when i am left alone with my partner playing “straddle-what’s-basically-a-controlled-detonation-on-full-afterburners-on-a-night-flyby-exercise” and with a tumbler full of scotch within arm’s reach. Today’s post is brought to you by “small-batch-whisky-whom-i-shall-choose-to-not-name-because-im-actually-not-sponsored-by-them” and im staring at a stack of unnecessary paperwork that some brand spanking new good idea fairies (who will fofahkssakes will get lost in the woods the first chance they get) have dropped in my lap, putting me in just a teensy weensy homicidal mood.
THE SISTERHOOD OF “DIE, MOFO, DIE!”
You have finished your basic and occupational training. Depending on your nationality, you may undergo additional training, or you might be looking at orders chopping you off to your first unit. Yay! (Those first introductory training courses in the military doesnt count in my books since everyone is weird there anyway. Its where they weed out those unsuitable for this life and skim the cream of the crop.)
Dont break into your happy little dance yet. Its just beginning for you.
Here’s some generic advice from a wiser person than me.
Being a woman in the military is just, strange.
Lets get out of the way the obvious gimmes first.
SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS
Look. Im not gonna start with a sermon and go “dont shit where you eat” or “the military workplace is STILL a professional workplace, act professionally” sermonizing bullshit on you. Kind of high and mighty of me seeing as i married another military person. Youre an adult in a professional environment. Act accordingly. Just be respectful and be smart. If youre looking at co workers for potential life partners, have at it. Contrary to popular belief, military people are one of the most romantic people ever. Sure, were a little bit messed up in the head and come with some baggage, on account of all the killing and out performing the enemy when it comes to converting human bodies into pink mist, but who doesnt have baggage in their life?
If you even come remotely close to being decent looking in civvie life, you will be an instant army (or insert favorite branch) babe. You are surrounded by lonely, horny, and rowdy males. This is normal. In most cases, you will be exactly as lonely, horny, and rowdy as they are. Maybe even worse. Boys might think were all prim and proper and sugar and spice and everything nice, but the last time i looked down, im rocking the same beef curtains as you ladies. I know we are so much more grosser?/grossier? than dudes in most cases. Exhibit A: female side of any public bathroom.
Gone are the days when you have to put in the work and effort just to look good for a date. Seriously, all you have to do is change into civillian clothing on the weekend and you will find yourself inundated with invitations to a date before you even sign out of the main gate. If you’re above average looking and actually look good in combats, you will smell the pheromones from a mile away.
Let me make myself clear: THIS. DOES. NOT. MAKE. YOU. SPECIAL. There will come a time when your whole life will revolve around the military and you will have little time left to socialize in a civillian setting. This will mean that it may be possible your dating options will consist of purely fellow military members. Before you dip your toes in the work pool, remember that your situation might be very well the same for the people you are dating.
Be an adult. A responsible and accountable one. I highly believe that the antiquated rules prohibiting fraternization amongst the ranks is meant to mitigate any risks of abuse. This is 2020. That should no longer be the case. If a relationship ends badly, DO NOT use your hooha as a weapon to “win” the break up. I have seen so many cases of scumbag women in the ranks who are only one level evolved beyond being vaginal life support, abuse the new protections and equality measures enacted in the workplace. All you’re doing is unravelling all that work and preventing honest, hard working women from succesfully joining the ranks, and making it hard for legitimate victims to attain justice.
This strikes a really personal note with me because I was sexually assaulted by a senior student during leadership school. (I refuse to be called a rape “victim”.) I have been known to be the wild child all throughout my life. But nothing I have done made me deserve what that animal did to me. I had to fight hard to prove to the system that i am claiming that a legitimate offense took place, and i want justice, goddammit. Im not trying to game the system, im not trying to seek the spotlight, im not trying to “win” a breakup, i dont want anything at all except maybe look him in the eye and have him acknowledge that he deserves to serve time as restitution for his offense.
There are women out there who have had it worse than me. There are women out there who will never breathe the breath of the living again as a result of what happened to them. Do NOT even dare exploit a system trying to fix itself to prevent any more dead and violated women. You may have personally benefited from it now, but what about women you love? Friends? Sisters? Cousins? How would you be able to live with yourself if a system that has been tampered with by people like you is now unable to help them?
Tales of woe and sadness aside, i have also seen women bat their eyelashes at dumbass teenage barely out of highschool males in their class and ask if they can carry some of their loadout in their rucksack. And then complain in the next breath that life as a modern woman is still heavily biased. No honey, you dont get to do that. Take off the uniform and go sell pictures of your feet on gonewild if you wanna cash in on your vajayjay. You dont get to do that while wearing the same uniform that i do. One that i actually earned the right to wear.
Now, on to the more practical parts:
HYGIENE AND FEMALE CARE
  1. Underwear: some militaries provide an allowance to female members so they can buy their own bras. Before you go to Victoria’s Secret or La Perla, ask yourself: how busty am i? If you are at the point where you need underwire in your brassiere, believe me, those wires will come popping out as soon as you shrug on your plates and squeeze your tatas. Do yourself a favour and use that bra allowance to have your own sports bras custom made.
If you’re a fan of small underwear like I am, do yourself a favour and leave the thongs at home when in field exes/deployments, and wear the issued boxers. Even though i scoff at the idea of the issued flame retardant boxers being your last line of defense against being burnt to a crisp, my reasons are a lot more practical. Where i live, lingerie dont grow on trees. That shit’s expensive. If it gets ripped up or damaged or rendered unwearable due to adverse living conditions, or stupid delicates murdering laundry machines at the wash, the military will not reimburse you for it.
  1. Feminine Hygiene: due to our anatomy, we are a lot more prone to UTIs and yeast infections when living in adverse conditions. Even when in FOBs that do their best to make themselves your home away from home, the conditions usually are still pretty ripe and favourable for infections to develop in unsanitary conditions. Set yourself up for success by making sure to pack enough washes and baby wipes. My job involves paying strict attention to small details. In fact, we are a lot more vigilant about it than your standard grunt. Its because our lives depend on it. How can i trust a soldier in my unit to be observant enough and not get themselves and me blown up, if i cant even trust them not to be taken out of commission by a UTI in the desert because they let their stank get so stanky to the point that they need an IV drip of antibiotics?
  2. Feminine Health: if you think your periods are a killer when youre in the comfort of your own home, think again. Imagine having cramps in the middle of the desert heat, stuffed in a bullet magnet tin box on wheels, surrounded by heavily armed stinky dudes, in a hostile country populated with innocent people who just want to live their lives in peace, and people who look like those innocent people, but instead of being peaceful, look forward to blowing themselves up just to kill you. Do yourself a favour: get an IUD or a hormone shot like Depoprovera. It will stop your periods dead in its tracks, and the brief period of discomfort after having those measures installed in your body is worth it.
  3. On deployment, bring (sexual) protection and some other stuff. Jesus, im so bad for saying this, but here’s what ive witnessed usually happen at FOBs. Fresh batch of troops get popped into the oven. They are given a bunch of briefings about conduct in country. Amongst those rules of conduct laid down is discouraging fraternization. There are people who go out and break this rule as soon as they can.
As ive mentioned before, i highly believe that anti fraternization rules are antiquated and will have to be reviewed some time soon. This is 2020, where even lower ranking enlisted can boast some more education and life experiences. A good majority of them know how to be an adult and not let their personal life do a mission creep on their work life. But since its the military, they have to take things slow and steady because all rules enacted should be carefully analyzed (a.k.a.: have a bunch of generals and senior staff get the chance to attach their names on it). Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs actually place intimacy as a requirement above physical needs. That Hierarchy does not cease to exist just because you wear combats. A good leader plans for that and helps their soldiers succeed.
Anyway, back to my point. You’ll be horny. You’ll be rowdy. And you’ll be lonely. This is where the protection and other stuff_ part comes in. Condoms + your IUD or any chosen form of birth control i mentioned above should be sufficient enough to protect you from the double hazards of disease and unwanted pregnancy. Please note that i highly recommend other ways of satisfying sexual needs prior to engaging in actual intercourse with another person. This is usually because getting it on also has a chance of one member of the party developing something that has no place developing in the middle of a goddamn mission.
Im not talking about fucking barnyard animals. Im talking about masturbation. This is where the other stuff comes in. The other stuff are, well, no other ways to put it, sex toys. Bear with me for a second here and let me explain. A horny, sex deprived soldier is a single minded soldier. A soldier who’s mind is less than 100% on the mission and preoccupied with getting their freak on is a distracted soldier. I have seen the rules relaxed on the field when it comes to bored, scared, and horny soldiers. A good leader can take care of boredom and fear. Lack of physical intimacy is something only the soldier can take care of. This is an easy gimme problem for men to take care of. Wake up, wank off, piss, smoke, drink coffee, and its All Good Morning Vietnam after that.
For females, its a little bit more complicated and harder to explain.
If you need to get laid, you need to get laid. Having sex with yourself should always be COA A, B, and C, before you start shooting long looks at those icky, cootie ridden boys. Just kidding. If men are allowed to take care of their own sexual needs solo, then why shouldnt you as well?
Why the sex toys then? Im talking strictly about vibrators. Put away the whips and chains. You dont need to bring your entire sex dungeon on deployment. Its because women’s bodies are unique in a million different ways. Some women find it pleasant to have some parts of the body stimulated. Some dont. Bringing a vibrator allows you to bypass all these “middleman” erogenous zones and get straight to business. A vibrator also helps women who cannot get satisfaction from pure manual stimulation of their “magic bean”. There are different kinds of tools out there to suit your needs.
Im Jewish by birth and has also commanded some Mormon troops. Jews and Mormons i found are the hardest troops to counsel when it comes to maintaining their sexual health. Jews because of the very nature of their guilt based culture, and Mormons because of their massively restricting rules about sexuality. I had a married Mormon soldier under my command whom ive noticed has been developing a pretty friendly relationship with one of the clerks. I knew it was a matter of time before these two heads into some dark and private area and start carrying on. I took the soldier aside and advised him to talk to his bishop and figure out a way to sate his sexual needs within the bounds of his faith, without creating drama in the workplace or ruining his marriage.
Btw, if youre learning about any of this just now, please go ahead and give your parents a bonk on the forehead for me. Thank youuuuuuu.
PHYSICAL FITNESS
Just because you and your booty has 40k Instagram followers doesnt mean you are physically fit to join the military. Imagine all the “exercises” you do in the gym. Now imagine doing all that while wearing at least 150 lbs of kit. And then imagine doing that in a situation where your physical fitness may or may not be the one that saves your life.
I dont care if you have no ambitions towards joining the combat arms jobs. I knew of a guy who on gate duty while on deployment in the Balkans. Him and a buddy were lit up by effective fire to cover a young man trying to rush their gate while wearing a SVIED. This guy tackled him from behind and froze him in place so he couldnt clack himself off while trusting his buddy is providing covering fire. Him and his buddy are both cooks.
Physical fitness is an important part of your job requirements in the military regardless of what trade you apply for. Physical fitness is also a personal responsibility. Do not sign the dotted line expecting the military to whip you up into shape. All you will accomplish is break yourself trying.
Going back to the different physicality of the female anatomy, make sure your workouts are geared to fit into that military oriented demand. Gym fit is entirely different from military fit. I have always had lower back problems since hitting puberty because of my boobs. The problems started escalating even before i joined the military. I had never been fat my entire life but i soon realized i was never physically fit either. I depended on my high metabolism, raging hormones, and natural flexibility as a teenager to carry me through cheerleading and all the sports that i used to do. As an adult, i soon realized i cant depend on those things anymore. I had to focus on integrating a lot of core and back exercises on top of my workouts.
A physique based workout is not a strengthening workout. But that doesnt mean you have to give up on your goals of popping a six pack, popping some lats, and sporting a wicked v cut. You just have to be smart with your workouts. Focus on functional workouts that would enable you to go on long patrols while carrying heavy gear. Do that, do well with that, and the physique will come.
Last but not least, if you smoke, quit. Im not gonna sermon you on this. Theres plenty of information out there letting you know about the health risks associated with smoking. Later on in your career, sure, there might be some room for a vice. But smoking during military training when you desperately need your cardio will not do you any favours. I smoke here and there with my boys only when on deployment. A couple of exceptions for real life reasons when in garrison, say the birth of a baby, or some success that needs celebrating. But i only smoke cigars. Cubanos mostly, because if im gonna smoke a cancer stick, it will be an expensive cancer stick. Lmao. I also learned how to chew tobacco while working with Americans. Chewing tobacco is quite an interesting experience. I dont like doing it, but its quite an effective ice breaker when working with American counter parts, especially their Marines, when i approach them and ask: “want a dip?” and hand them a can of Skoal.
POST SCRIPT
I originally wanted to post this as a series. Once the series is completed, i will create an index post and post that into militarystories and this sub. I have only posted one so far before this post.
However, my situation has changed. I am now in a position where i am doing the job of two people while our tempo is dramatically sped up. I will still take time to answer questions and requests for advice, but sadly, the endstate i was envisioning will not be possible until at least for a long while. This post has been marinating in my drafts folder for quite some time before i finally had to be honest with myself and admit that i am going about this the wrong way.
I do not want to disappoint everyone who sent me PMs and chat messages asking me for advice. I think doing it this way is a happy medium. I will still entertain private conversations and questions. Just please be patient if it takes me a while to respond.
Finally, to u/fishtheunicorn, i apologize for putting you on the spot like this. But, i usually creep the profiles of people who DM, chat, and follow me. I noticed that out of all of them, you are the only one who is still at such a young age in their life. So here’s a piece of advice that i send out to you and to similar fresh eager young faces like you only.
You have finally graduated high school. For some of you, its “now what do i do?”. For others, its your country’s version of your elite military academy where you graduate with a Baccalaureate and a commission. For a select few, the military is a last resort in hopes of not getting lost in life.
I joined the military as an already full grown adult. I left behind a professional career and discarded years’ worth of education that helped establish that. I do not regret any of it. All of those life experiences has made me a better person, a better leader, and a more than average soldier. My job requires me to be bold and decisive. While leaders like me are allowed leeway to make mistakes, mistakes made at our level usually produces a dead or badly injured friendly soldier at the other end of the decision making process. Our job as leaders is to use our soldiers to achieve our mission endstate. Its NOT our job to use them up.
If the military is the endstate you have been working on your entire life, holding off on signing that dotted line while gaining some more life experiences wouldnt hurt at the very least. Travel. Live with foreigners. Learn a new language and a new culture. Learn how to work and lead in a professional environment. Learn some professional and life skills. After that, when you feel that you’re ready, watch yourself be a rockstar once you finally join this unique brothesisterhood and bring all this wealth of knowledge and experience to the table.
If the military is nothing but a “eh, well, better than working at McDonalds” option for you after high school, know this: there is a place for you in the military too. There are plenty of opportunities for you to succeed as long as you apply yourself. But you only achieve this if you are honest with yourself first and foremost and humble enough to know that you need a lot of learning to do. Shed all preconceived notions and overestimated trust in your capabilities, and do not be afraid to put in some hard work.
Work hard. Share in everyone’s hardship. It is not wrapping yourself up in a flag and humming patriotic songs that would endear you to your colleagues. Its sharing the same suffering they are enduring. Part of the reason why medically profiled people get ostracized in the military is that because they are now out of the shared hardships equation.
Be bold. Pick left, pick right, but stick to your guns when you know you’re right. Boldness and bravery also means yielding when you know you dont have enough experience or knowledge to support your decision.
Be humble. Theres nothing more infuriating than coming fresh out of the training schools and thinking you already know everything. For most militaries, training schools only give you the template of what you need to know. You will have more specifics to learn once you get to your unit.
Be generous. Ive been in 2 way ranges more often than i would care to. One thing i took away from those experiences is that life is short. Whether be it from someone wanting to kill you dead, or an idiot who shouldnt have been issued a driver’s license, life can get cut short for anyone at any point in time. Be generous with your affections. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Dont wait for the right moment to tell a loved one that you love them. You should be saying that everyday anyway, and making your actions be reflective of that.
Be selfless. Its a sad state of affairs that I dont get to work with the Canadians as much as i would like to, but i have observed an interesting practice they do in field exercises. Sometimes, they get a treat and have cooks prepare a fresh cooked field meal for them. They bring food out in heated containers and have the troops line up right there in the field for meal time. Senior NCOs and ALL officers stay in the back of the line and let all their lower ranking members eat first. Even though portions are heavily rationed out to ensure everyone gets something to eat, its always slim pickings for everyone else left after the Privates and Corporals have gotten their food. This experience stuck with me and has been a core principle in my leadership style.
Selflessness in soldiering is not limited to jumping on top of grenades. I always make sure my troops are well fed, well supplied, and well rested. I do not spoil them, but i make sure theyre not short changed either. I have marched straight up to the face of the Major in charge of our logistics when i was a junior officer and demanded why my troops are forced to ratfuck and stretch one MRE for 3 days per man, when it was him and his shop that fucked up in outfitting us with what we need for a simple field exercise. I refuse to make my men pay for other people’s inability to do their job. I make sure that i pull at least one sentry shift per rotation. I go above and beyond in coaching and imparting life skills to those who went from the care of their parents and the educational system, straight to the care of the military. Those who have had no opportunities to gain those skills on their own.
I do this not for personal gain or recognition. I do it because i know im not special. I know that some of these rockstars i have the privilege to lead will be leading some other rockstars themselves in the future. My ability to wear a uniform and serve my country is a road paved for me by people before me who brought in positive changes to our organization. Positive change in the military lies in the hands of people like this, and doing job well as their leader in training them, and whatever i do as i lead them, is a crucial ingredient in making sure that those positive changes happen.
To close this, i am more than willing to coach you specifically on how to prep for success in the military if youre willing to bear with me and my personal time constraints. While i may not be familiar with the intricacies of applying in your particular nation’s military, there are a lot more i can help you out with.
😘😘😘
Edit: ladies! Ho-ly. Lol. Okay. Got the gist of all the comments and the PMs. Okay. Im linking a few shops you guys might want to check out. All of these are shops i have personally done business with in the past, and they all do either custom work, or custom editing for your sports bras. They are in different countries and some of them only accept in person/in store business. But the beauty of these times being so unpredictable due to COVID, you might just be able to convince them to do remote work with you as long as you clearly articulate what you want. The prices are a bit steeper than your usual already expensive lingerie, but i swear, its worth it.
I too have plugged in “custom made sports bras” in Google and came up with frustrating hits. What initially got me started with it is that i was able to sweet talk a seamstress into “experimenting” with my bras. I have a pair that was as close to perfect as i have ever had, and all she had to do was strip it down and resize it in her shop based on my measurements. It might be a harder process for some, and it might be an easier process to others. It depends on every single woman’s body type.
Technically, theres no such thing right now as a “true” custom made/bespoke sports bra. Its all just basically mass produced stretchy sweat wicking fabric that you jam your ta-tas into and hope for the best. I dont like “true” sports bras. I dont like how i have to peel them off like a shirt. (Yeah, yeah, i get it, there’s ones that have clasps, but thats a recent development). I prefer swimwear bras or cheer practice bras. Those ones have a lot more optionality and customization options without taking away too much from the support aspect of things.
If you cant find any shop nearby that offers those services, its quite easy to go talk to a seamstress/tailor who would be willing to modify a bra for your specific body measurements. Soma is a good brand for its selections, and Lululemon for its next generation fabrics. Find out the best fabric from Lululemon, scope some styles from Soma, ask if theres any athletics or cheerleading outfitters near you than can assemble a bra close to your size, and then have the seamstress/tailor do the final fitting. Lots of work, but ive done it before, and its not that hard.
Putting this info in a military context, you dont need a “true” sports bra specifically. Take this advice and adapt it into your personal context. Maybe youre like me who still can benefit from a hybrid bra like a swim/cheer bra for support to approximate the support you get from underwire. Maybe you need to double up on the sports bra so you get to control the “squish” factor you get from the plates. (I actually had to do this before). Or maybe, sadly, its time to really look at a reductive surgery as an option.
Toru and Naoko
Buttress and Snatch
Rigby and Peller
Rubie’s
Edit 2:
Gawdfakendammit. Anyone know how to get rid of the annoying cover photos that links pull into the post? I dont want this post’s cover photo to be a picture of a boob holster. Lol.
submitted by borednightnurse1990 to FuckeryUniveristy [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 20:33 nomorenutjob My Experience As a Temple Worker

Sorry if this is kind of a long post, but I want to share with you my story as a Temple Worker at the Manti Temple:
In 1997 I learned the truth about the Book of Abraham (BOA). This rocked my testimony and my whole foundation of Mormonism. I shared this with my TBM Wife. At first, learning this troubling information really shook her up. Her family scared her and said that this information was just anti-Mormon propaganda and that Satan was trying to destroy her testimony. She bought into their fear-mongering and refused to look at anything not faith promoting again. I secretly continued to study the troubling aspects of Mormonism. My church activity went up and down during this time and I was really struggling spiritually.
One day in Priesthood Opening Exercises, the Bishop said there were some Temple Veil Worker positions available at the Manti Temple. I immediately raised my hand and volunteered. This was almost a knee jerk reaction on my part. My thinking was that the Temple is supposed to be the most sacred place on this earth. If the Church is really true, then working in the Temple would help me feel the Spirit. I also hoped that I would have spiritual experiences that will testify to me that the Church is true and will erase all my doubts.
The Stake President interviewed me and gave me a date to go to the Temple and start training. I showed up on a weekday evening. An elderly Temple Worker had me go into the Workers Lounge and study area. He gave me a printed and laminated copy of the Veil dialog. I had to give him my Drivers License to check it out. He gave me strict instructions to not take it out of the lounge or temple building. I had attended the Temple quite frequently, so I had the dialog at the Veil memorized, but now I had to learn the part that the Lord says and the dialog of the Veil Worker. I spent a couple of evenings memorizing my parts. I was tested and was deemed prepared to work at the Veil.
It was kind of strange how it worked. During this time, the Manti Temple had a low attendance rate. In order to boost the attendance numbers, the Veil workers were assigned a later afternoon Endowment Session to attend. At the end of the session, the Veil workers would go first to the Veil. Once we passed through the Veil, then we would work at the Veil, either as the Lord or a Veil Worker (the one who takes the name slip, taps the mallet, and helps the patron with the Veil dialog). We would then help bring the rest of the patrons at the endowment session through the Veil. We would then stay after and help with the next sessions, depending on the time of day.
I worked at the Temple two or three times a week, depending on my work schedule. Very quickly, working at the Temple became boring and unfulfilling. The old men who were the Veil Supervisors were usually cranky and I could tell that they'd rather be somewhere else. They usually rushed me and the other workers to get the patrons through the Veil quickly. I felt like I was herding sheep instead of people. I did not experience any significant spiritual experiences, even though I prayed to the Lord to please help me feel his Spirit while working at the Temple.
For about five months I kept trudging on. trying to be the best Veil Worker I could. I started noticing that many of the names on the Name Slips the patrons gave me looked the same. One day I asked the Veil Supervisor about this. He nonchalantly said, "You're right. The Temple never has enough names for all of the ordinances done so we have to reuse them." I was pretty shaken up by his reply and asked him, "How can the Church justify this?" I also asked, "How can we say it's the work for the dead when we may be doing the same ordinances for the dead person over and over again?" He replied, "You have to understand that if we run out of names then our Temple attendance will plummet. We want to make sure that the members in our Temple District attend the Temple at least once a month." What could I say back? Really nothing. I was very emotionally shaken and I asked to leave early that night.
I went home and started researching this on the Internet. I came across this interview of Rauni Higley who was a Former Finnish Translator for the Church: http://www.salamandersociety.com/interviews/raunihigley/ And another post by another Former Manti Temple Worker: http://packham.n4m.org/temples3.htm Both of these former Temple workers saw and discovered troubling issues during their service at the Temple. Some were the same disturbing things that I saw. After reading this and other things I found on the Internet, I could not honestly work at the Temple anymore. I realized the whole Temple thing is just a big scam
The Temples had to provide names of the dead so that members would believe they were doing sacred temple ordinances for only that deceased person. I remember when I did work for the dead, I would read the name on the paper slip, the date of birth of that departed person, and think about how special it was for me to provide him these special "saving" ordinances. After learning about recycling the temple names, I realized that the whole work for the dead thing is a big joke. The Temples had to provide and recycle names so that members could frequently attend. To attend, they have to have Temple Recommends. And to have Temple Recommends, they have to pay a full tithe. It has nothing to do with eternal ordinances or work for the dead. It's just a way to get members to pay their goddamned tithing so the Church can buy more commercial real estate, dump millions of more dollars into their $120+ billion investment fund, build expensive / gaudy temples; and to provide six figure salaries and thousands of dollars of perks to the General Authorities. If the members don't pay and have their temple ordinances, then they risk losing their loved ones for eternity or at least that's what the Church wants them to believe. I can't think of a crueler scam than that!
I immediately made an appointment to see my Stake President. I asked to be released and gave some bullshit excuse about work conflicts. I didn't dare bring up the disturbing things I had found out. I also was not ready to have the "apostate" label put on me yet. After all of this, I only attended the temple when my TBM Wife dragged me there or for family weddings or sealings. For sure, finding out these disturbing things about the Temple and countless other issues led to my exit out of the Church. Eight years later, I publicly came out to my family about my disbelief and I became totally inactive. Seven years later, I officially resigned from the Mormon Church. And I do not miss at all attending the Temple!
Sorry for how long this is, but I hope you find my story interesting. Feel free to ask me any questions you want.
submitted by nomorenutjob to exmormon [link] [comments]


2020.09.08 15:11 PotatoBear91 My spiritual journey - A Long Way to Conversion

My grandma had a faith in mixture of Buddhism and traditional Korean shamanism. But in her later years, she got converted to Methodist since her neighbor asked her to go to the church together. So She brought her grandchildren to the church, her daughter-in-law and eventually her son(well, it happened after she passed away. But it's significant move for the family).
Back in 2018, I just got graduated from the college and struggled for getting job in my home province. It was cold winter where I lived and I was on my way to grab some noodles for dinner. As I was close to grocery store, I came across with tall and thin white guys in their suits.
"Ah, these Mormon guys. I don't feel like talk with them."
I already had a plan to escape from them but they were faster than me. As I stood before them, they suddenly asked me to give five. "Gimme five? How weird they are!" But I did so. Because it doesn't cost me anything.
They asked me about my name, the place I live, my phone number(which I shouldn't gave) and et cetera. They passed me a book with dark blue cover and as it said, "The Book of Mormon - A New Covenant of Jesus Christ." I could throw it away but instead I have placed the book at the bookshelf.
From the next day, they tried to contact with me through Facebook messenger. But I never answered. As the spring began, I had to pull off my wisdom teeth at dental clinic. I had to see that white building where the mormon guys stay. I had to pull off three wisdom teeth and it was the day when I pulled off my last wisdom tooth. As I passed by the white building, I saw one of the guys in suit with his crutch. I felt sorry for him as I felt the same way when I was in the South Korean Army. He had to spent two years without any income and it was totally voluntary. Well, I was in the army with mandatory service for two years and at least I had a little salary from country; that'd be a difference.
Anyway, I told them it's might be okay to meet them at the church on regular basis. That was how I began the discussion with the missionaries. Discussion took about six months. Many missionaries came and left the town as they are assigned to be from the mission president.
I think it was September 2018, Elders told me that it's about time to choose the date for baptism. They thought September 28th would be a perfect day. But I felt like I'm not ready yet. Until then I was still a member of Methodist church in the town and I didn't know how to tell my friends in the methodist church. But I decided to give it a try. As expected, no one agreed. Only a week left until the baptism and still I had no idea what to do. So I kneel down and pray as I was told from the Elders.
Eventually they agreed to do so and I was able to be baptised on September 28th, 2018.
Until now I am not used to say I'm a Latter-Day Saints. I've lost many friends in Methodist faith since I decided to join the Latter-Day Saints. They thought me like fallen into some cult. I tried to call and meet them but none of them were answered. I felt somewhat hard first. But now I can manage to pray for them because they're still my friends.
It's really long story and thank you for take your time to read it!
submitted by PotatoBear91 to latterdaysaints [link] [comments]


2020.09.06 01:24 honesthibiscus Influencers, Hawaii mormons, no rules?

Hi ex mormons! I'm nevermo and I also usually only comment on reddit, but I live in Hawaii and have been on a health kick so recently followed a popular healthy living instagram blogger who lives here.
This influencer has 1 mil followers doesn't mention religion much so I figured they were just typical hippie surfer christian until I saw a reference to family on "2 year service trips" and dodging a question about posting wedding pictures. I connected the dots when I realized this blogger is married into a large mormon family here that owns a restaurant in Laie that I went to once and was staffed entirely with BYUH students lol.
My question here is about garments and other rules. This family is huge and well-known. Kids have pro surf sponsorships, parents are influencers and restaurant owners. None of them wear garments or avoid caffeine it seems.
I assumed the garments weren't common because none of the mormons here in Hawaii, even non-influencers, seem to wear them or even dress modestly? But reading this sub it seems otherwise. Is it the weather? One of my college friends (not BYUH) was aggressively devout and is dating a returned missionary but she swears and wears crop tops everywhere except when she goes to take pics in front of the Laie temple (she also wouldn't talk to me about her religion at all when I asked during a time when I was having trouble and looking for faith because she looked down on me for drinking and not being chaste...like come on I was 18 and vulnerable, leading me to the church would have been taking candy from a baby! but I guess I wasn't worthy haha) Another coworker chose to go on her mission but then still dresses in short shorts and tank tops now that she's back. 99% of the ethnically polynesian mormons I know have tattoos.
So basically, why is Hawaii apparently so lax? There are more mormons here than anywhere else I lived on the mainland and they're just as closed-off with info but a lot less visibly "culty." Why do influencers not seem to care about garments but all the "normal" people in this sub have such a hard time breaking with it?
Just wanted to hear thoughts from you guys!
submitted by honesthibiscus to exmormon [link] [comments]


2020.09.04 01:34 TheBlueNinja0 The last straw with my mom

This happened about seven years ago at my grandmother's funeral.
So, ever since I hit adulthood and left home, my mom has more and more critical about everything in my life. My career, my wife, my hobbies, my own parenting abilities - you name it, she complained about it at length. Before grandma came down with cancer for the last time, I was barely speaking to my mom at all, only brief-as-I-could-make-it phone calls for birthdays, Christmas, etc.
When grandma died, we knew there was going to be some time before the funeral- grandpa had to arrange the cremation, get the plot, etc. Even with help, it was set for about a month after she died, to hold the burial of her urn, and a wake/reception at their church. As soon as the date was announced, my mom pointedly called me to demand that I not bring my "cultist" wife with me. (Wife was raised Mormon, and at that time, was attending church roughly twice a year. Religious, my wife ain't.)
Come the day of, I get up early, make the 3+ hour drive alone, and attend the burial service. This is the first time that I, then 34, had seen some of my relatives since I was a teenager, and a couple it was my first time ever. Not wanting to cause drama, I say that my wife stayed home with the kids because they started school the next day. (Funeral was on Sunday, kids actually started school the next Wednesday, but I didn't want to cause issues with my grandpa, and we were cordial but not close.)
The funeral service goes okay, we transit to the church a few miles away, and i start talking with people as everyone is swapping stories about grandma and her frequent chocolate chip cookie care packages. Mom pulls me off to the side of the room (like, actually pulling on my sleeve until I follow her) - not even to actual privacy, just off to the side - and starts to loudly berate me for "making (her) look like a fool" by showing up without my wife. When I try to bring up how she insisted I get cut off because she "would never do that."
I just turned away, walked over to my grandpa, said my goodbyes, and drove home. I haven't spoken to her since, despite her sending me several passive-aggressive postcards over the years.
Maybe next time I'll share the time she implied I should trade my children away for a prestigious degree.
submitted by TheBlueNinja0 to entitledparents [link] [comments]


2020.09.03 23:32 SS17LX_Nostradamus The Cabin - Part I

This communication is being forwarded on behalf of XXXXX XXXXXX by entity SS17-LX “Nostradamus” dated XX/XX/2020. If you choose to read no further than this, heed this warning: do not take the vaccine. It will be the end of everything you know.*
Utah and I were a love-at-first-sight type of situation. I remember the first time I drove from Las Vegas airport through the desert into southern Utah. That utter lifeless, nothingness for miles and miles – just a spine of telephone poles and empty roadway snaking through a Martian surface. Then came the canyons, immense and towering, giving way to a plunging landscape so much the opposite of the Miami skyline I called home. Jagged boulders and cliffsides interlaced with lush fields, creeks flowing into thundering rivers, and farmlands seemingly unchanged since the days of the Sundance Kid. In a country where roadside fast food strip malls are the norm, Utah is proof that god still exists, and this is his land.
I visited the state twice more on vacation before I decided to make it my home. The timing was right. I was coming out of the far side of a miserable tunnel in my life – a major illness, a shit job, and a divorce had chiseled away my youthful energy and self-worth until I no longer remembered the person I used to be, nor recognized the person I had become. It was time to walk away, time to find out what was left of me.
I took a job with a major IT company as a software engineer. The pay was exceptional but the ability to work remotely was the real prize. I packed everything I owned into a U-Haul truck and moved west. I couldn’t help but feel like the settlers of the 19th century, plodding westward in search of a better life.
I rented a small house outside of a town called Alton. Of course compared to south Florida, “house” and “town” are relative terms; the house was a four-room cabin and the town was little more than a dusty, long-forgotten neighborhood. It was exactly the change I craved after years in the city - I would work during the week and spend my evenings and weekends exploring my new home, the land of the gods.
For the first year in Utah that is more or less how my days were spent: quietly sifting through lines of incomprehensible code during the week, then putting mile after mile under my feet on the weekends. It became a point of pride to see how quickly I could thrash a pair of hiking boots. I started ordering two or three pairs at a time so I always had spares.
Solitude reinvigorated me. It brought peace into my life like I had never experienced. I made a choice to step away from the world only to find that I had never really known the world at all. Until that time, I had lived my life trapped in a biome of plastic trees and plastic people, totally devoid of reason or purpose. I treasured my life in the wilderness, but time has a funny habit of pushing us into the next lifetime.
* * *
I remember the first day that I saw her haunting face. I remember the coffee I drank with a bowl of microwave oatmeal and a protein bar for breakfast. I remember it was a clear blue day and the headline of the Journal read FDA Grants Rapid Approval to First Covid Vaccine. The date was September 16, 2020. It was a Wednesday. I remember because it was my 34th birthday and I had decided to take the day off and hike a trail near my house.
There was nothing particularly noteworthy about this trail but being so close to home it had become one of my favorites, perfect for evening walks. It drifted through rugged scrubland into pinyon pines and a denser forested gully with a small, unnamed creek. At three miles the trail skated the edge of an abandoned silver mine, its buildings picked over and sun bleached like a carcass cleaved from a herd that scarcely remembered it at all. Ruins of the sort are common in Utah, vestiges of aspirations past. They add a portentous charm to the landscape.
I first heard her at mile marker four - a swath of a blue bandana I tied to a bristlecone pine, rare for this part of the state. It sounded like whistling not far off the trail, through some shrubs and scruffy pines on a smaller path I had never noticed before. How had I never noticed this? Curiosity and a mild sense of alarm drew me silently, carefully down the path until I saw it: a rickety, abandoned cabin slowly decaying before nature, or perhaps being fossilized by the sun for a future generation to discover. How had I never noticed this? On the porch of the cabin sat a woman in a Windsor chair, staring off into nothing and whistling in a soft tone. I stopped. For an instant my breath caught in my throat.
Her features were dark and timeworn like she had crawled out of the rock itself, picking and scratching her way into the free air. Deep ravines crisscrossed her face like dry riverbeds splitting a sun-scorched landscape. Her hair was black, sitting shoulder length with veins of white and gray flashing in the sunlight. She wore a faded red dress with an ornamental design around the collar, native in appearance. I guessed she was one of the local Shoshone or Navajo tribeswomen, but why she was out here alone was altogether puzzling.
She seemed not to notice me, staring and whistling a lonely melody. I had an uneasy feeling encountering a stranger so deep in the wild, but reasoned she might be lost and in need of help. I felt a sense of responsibility for her, and before my brain could rationalize this curious woman, I heard my own words slip into the air.
“Hello, are you okay out here?”
Nothing. Whistling and staring. I tried again.
“Ma’am? Sorry I don’t mean to bother y…”
This time her head snapped toward me. The whistling stopped, and now she stared at me like a falcon eyeing a mouse. Warmth fled my body, and all that remained was regret – I shouldn’t be here.
“Sorry, I didn’t know this was your property,” I stuttered. “Have a good day…”
I tried to walk away but I was afraid to take my eyes off the woman. Her eyes studied me wildly, deep and black like an animal. I felt like I was being picked apart from the inside. I couldn’t break away - her silent assault held me captive. Finally, she spoke. Undulant and hollow, her voice met my ears like a cold wind.
“It is not your time yet,” she called out. I could barely understand her. “Leave now… you are in the wrong time.”
“I’m sorry?”
“It is not your time!” she insisted. “When three moons high... come back when three moons high, then I will show you the way.”
“Okay...”
“Three moons high, you will see. I will show you to the others.”
I said nothing. The woman was obviously crazy, a hermit shunned from her tribe and resigned to a life of terrifying passersby. She glared for a moment longer, then stood from her chair and walked into the cabin, shutting a broken door behind her. My legs finally returned to me. I turned and jogged most of the way home, looking over my shoulder more than I care to admit.
That night I sat on my deck and enjoyed a beer and a slice of cake from the town market. The air was crisp and cold, foreboding of a winter that would drape the landscape in snow drifts. I found myself staring into the dark nothingness of the night, vaguely in the direction of the woman and her cabin. Her words echoed in my head, though they were utter nonsense. The thought of her made me uneasy, dread and curiosity at the same time. I looked toward the sky. There was no moon at all.
* * *
Two weeks later I drove to the market in Duck Creek for groceries. On the radio, a news reporter spoke of the new coronavirus vaccine; apparently every production facility in the country was churning out vials of the life-saving solution. Over one hundred million were slated to be available by mid-October. While we had very few cases in rural Utah, I was happy for my friends and family back in Florida. It seemed they might finally get back to some semblance of normalcy, or whatever passes for normal in Florida.
The woman in the woods was still with me, but the shock of our first meeting faded day by day. My trepidation toward her gave way to concern. She was probably harmless, and, in fact, greatly in need of help. As the nights grew colder, I couldn’t imagine how the old hermit would survive the winter in her dilapidated shack. I decided I would pick up some groceries for her at the market, and maybe a blanket or a parka if I could find one. Of course that meant trekking back out to her cabin again, but I felt prepared for a second encounter.
I picked through the market, grabbing oatmeal, eggs, steaks and a few other staples for home. I loaded canned vegetables, beans, fruit, bread and some plastic utensils into my cart for the woman in the woods. Not the tastiest meals, I thought, but enough to get her through a chilly October. I looked for a blanket but found none – perhaps I had an extra at home. As I moved toward the check-out line, I noticed a young Deputy buying diapers and formula. He looked tired and muted, but from the night shift or a newborn baby I couldn’t tell.
“Excuse me,” I said to the Deputy, stepping beside him. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”
“Shoot,” he responded with a weary glance.
“Have you heard any reports of a hermit woman living on the east edge of Dixie Forest? I ran into her the other day, wasn’t sure if anyone else knew she was out there.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” he said. “We hear about all kinds of folks hunkered down in the parks around here. Folks off the reservation, LDS runaways, usually women and kids. I swear we get homeless bussed in from Las Vegas sometimes. It happens. Usually half out of their damn minds.”
“So what do you guys do in those situations?” I prodded. The Deputy sighed.
“Where’s she at exactly? In the park or outside?”
“I’m not really sure,” I said.
“Depending on where she’s at this could be us or Park Services. If she’s dangerous we can send someone to take her in, but if no one claims her and she ain’t done anything then we can’t hold her.”
“I don’t think she’s dangerous,” I replied, unsure of my own answer. “She looks like she might be part of one of the local tribes. I’m worried about the winter...”
“Yea, well, that’s a whole other problem,” he cut me off. “Honestly, we never find most of these folks. They move on pretty quickly. Then winter takes them or something else does.” He paused. “I can give you my card. If she’s on your land we can shoo her off, make her someone else’s problem. Otherwise not much else to be done.”
I read between the lines. Winter will solve this problem for both of us, shut up, leave me alone, and go about your day. I took the Deputy’s card and thanked him for his time, not caring to explain that half my shopping cart was intended to help this woman. His callousness struck a nerve, but as I stood in line, my own hypocrisy dawned. I had watched dozens, if not hundreds, of homeless people in Miami slog through a life of destitution and mental illness. That whole time I was utterly desensitized to their plight and disinclined to help, preferring to avoid them altogether. Why did I suddenly care about this old woman? I couldn’t reason it - she was just different. On my way out of the store I threw the Deputy’s card into the trash.
I listened to the radio on the drive home. A pundit, an apparent medical expert, was insisting that the coronavirus vaccine was premature and the long-term dangers unknown. It should be delayed for further study until a date that just happened to fall after the presidential election. Here we go politicizing death again, I thought. We can’t even agree on saving human lives. I felt contentment with my life in the middle of nowhere, far away from all the bullshit.
* * *
The next afternoon I set off down the trail toward mile marker four, intent on delivering supplies for the old hermit. I packed the food, a blanket, and a spare sleeping bag into an old green hiking pack and set a brisk pace. Sunset would be in a few hours and I wanted to be back before dark. An hour into the hike I spotted the bristlecone pine and the blue bandana, but the path I had hiked so many times was suddenly unfamiliar. I kicked around in the red clay looking for the offshoot to the cabin but found nothing. It’s easy to get lost even a few feet from a trail in the wild, so I didn’t think much of it – the offshoot must not have been where I thought. The ground was fairly level amongst the scrubby undergrowth and pines, and if I walked due west from the trail, I might be able to spot the cabin.
It must have taken half an hour of traipsing through the forest before finally I noticed something. A ramshackle pile of sun-bleached wood, beaten and crushed into an almost unrecognizable wreck. Cracked boards pointed into the sky like bony fingers, barely supporting a shattered truss and a half-collapsed roof. The cabin looked a mess when I found it weeks before, but it had become little more than a pile of debris in the intervening days. I started to turn away, assuming it couldn’t possibly be the same building, until I noticed the porch: it was completely untouched, and on it sat a familiar Windsor chair. The woman was nowhere to be seen.
I walked carefully toward the porch, half afraid I would find the woman dead in the wreckage and half afraid she would leap from the trees and attack me. I tested the porch steps with my foot - they felt sturdy enough. I held my breath as I forced my body onto the porch and peered through the empty doorway into the shell of the rubble. The last thing I wanted to see was a battered and broken old woman, but I willed myself to look: splintered wood and twisted nails, tattered fabrics, and what appeared to be a broken mirror, but no woman. A breathy sigh escaped my lungs and I turned to sit on the front steps, contemplating how this happened. Was there a thunderstorm I had missed? Was it just coincidence? Had she done this somehow? And where did she go? It bothered me that I would likely never know the answer.
As much as I thought I was prepared to return to the cabin, it had gotten the better of me again. We watch horror movies and fantasize about how we might be the hero in an overwhelmingly terrifying situation, but, in reality, all it takes is a slight shift away from the expected, an unwelcome change in our daily routine to set our nerves ablaze. I had to admit it to myself: a strange woman in an old cabin deep in the wild had rattled me more than my ego could accept. Still, something about her was deserving of fear - those dark, hawkish eyes perhaps, or maybe her rambling incoherence. And this place, this warped, abandoned placed. I tried to push the thought of her out of my head and calm my mind.
The sky began to darken and an early moon rose in the evening sky. How long had I been sitting on those steps? It felt like minutes, but my watch suggested nearly an hour had passed. I looked toward the sky. The moon was full, and I was thankful for it – it would help guide me home in the dark. I stood up, turned to face the cabin, and froze in place. A soft, rustling sound from within the wrecked cabin set my nerves on edge again. I stepped back carefully and scanned the area. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I spotted two pit black eyes staring at me from behind a pale white face. I stared back until the face twisted around, contorting its black eyes until one sat above the other. For a moment I couldn’t explain what I was seeing, but as my focus improved, I again realized the cabin had bested me. It was a barn owl, common to the region but notoriously elusive all the same. It fluttered almost silently to the top of the broken truss and scowled down at me, completely unimpressed with my presence. I smiled and considered trying to snap a photo of the bird, then thought better of it.
I decided to leave the pack and all the supplies I brought at the cabin. If the woman was still alive, she might return to this place and find some use in my efforts. If not, a cayote or a raccoon would get to it soon enough. Maybe I would come back in a few weeks and check. Then again, maybe I wouldn’t. I placed my beat-up green backpack on the Windsor chair, and as I turned to leave, I noticed the barn owl had silently moved onto the porch railing opposite me. It continued to stare at me curiously.
“I don’t suppose you know the way back to the main trail?” I asked nervously, fully aware it was a ridiculous line of questioning for a bird.
The owl swivled its head eastward, and as I followed his gaze, I noticed the small pathway in the dirt that I had missed earlier that afternoon.
“Wow. That’s a hell of a coincidence,” I said. “Thanks...” And I set off down the trail.
The hike home was uneventful, even in the dwindling daylight. That night after dinner I found myself in my backyard building a small fire so I could sit and enjoy a beer in the cool October air. I sat on an old tree stump mesmerized by the fire’s frantic swaying and crackling, sparks riding plumes of smoke into the night sky. A full moon sat high above me illuminating the boulders and pines that encircled my yard. In the tree line I saw two small, shimmering disks reflecting fire and moonlight into the night. They were faint, barely noticeable, sitting ten or so feet from the ground. I shined a flashlight toward them and saw a small, pale white face with two pit black eyes watching me. The owl let out a sharp cry and fled into the darkness.
* * *
It was Halloween night - a Saturday - and nearly a month had passed since my last trek to the cabin. Life had gone on, much as it always had. I worked, I explored, and I occasionally called my parents to inform them I had not yet turned into the Unabomber. They were concerned about my sudden move to the “boonies” as they called it, but after regaling them with stories of hiking and adventure I think they understood this place was right for me. I had decided not to tell them, nor anyone else, about the hermit woman and her cabin. The whole experience felt too bizarre to share and be taken seriously. Sometimes I wondered whether it had really happened at all.
I bought some candy at the market and put it in a small bowl by the front door. I didn’t expect any trick-or-treaters. My house was remote, surrounded by naught but a few other solitary families, and I didn’t get the feeling Mormons were big Halloween people. Still, tradition dictated I should have candy, just in case.
We had not yet had our first true snowfall of the year, but I had seen a few nightly flurries, and overnight freezes had killed off the last of the wildflowers. Winter was coming right on time. The land had become increasingly brown and I suspected by Thanksgiving it may be completely white. I had not dared venture back to that strange cabin in the woods, but the falling temperatures begged me to check one more time before winter. Maybe I would go in the morning.
I made burgers for dinner with a side of baked sweet potato and butter. It was too cold to eat on the deck, so I sat in the kitchen and turned on the news for company. The upcoming presidential election and the new coronavirus vaccine dominated the headlines. The first vaccine samples had been distributed and doctors believed the vaccine to be sixty to eighty percent effective, yet there had been scattered reports of severe side effects. Apparently several thousand of the earliest recipients had checked themselves into hospitals with unidentified medical issues. Perhaps that pundit had been right after all. I switched my TV’s input and started Netflix – I needed something lighter than pandemic updates.
I scrolled through movie after movie to the soundtrack of repeated clicks from the remote, interrupted only by an occasional blast of volume, punishment for lingering on a preview for too long. I stopped and watched a preview for The Thing; I had seen the movie a dozen times before, but it warranted another watch. Just as I settled down to start the movie, a faint knock came from the front door. I paused and looked toward the doorway, waiting for another knock. It never came. Could that actually be a trick-or-treater or had that been the TV? An image popped into my head of a shivering little Spider Man walking miles from house to house for a few Snickers bars. I couldn’t leave the kid wanting; if someone had come this far to my house, they deserved the whole bowl of candy. I got up and walked to the front door, pleased with myself for the generosity I was about to bestow on this child.
I pulled the door open and looked out into the night. There was no one. I stood dumbfounded, glancing back at the TV. The sound must have come from the TV. I swear I had heard something. I shut the door, disappointed that I didn’t get to make some kid’s night. I took two steps, three, four steps when the knocking started again. It was definitely the door. I paused – Halloween pranksters, I thought. Then I turned and ripped the door open, my generous attitude replaced with frustration. No one.
Fucking really?” I blurted out. “You’re going to ding-dong-ditch me way the hell out here?”
I bolted outside and around the side of the house, ready to catch some drunk, idiot teenagers giggling and stumbling over themselves. I lapped the house once, tripping over every shrub and rock in my yard. I saw no one. I lapped the house again, then paused in the front yard. No footsteps. No giggling. Silence. I looked up at the full moon and panted, catching my breath. The night air was frigid. It clung to the goosebumps on my exposed arms like hundreds of tiny icicles. I scanned the yard one more time and caught something from the corner of my eye. Just under the front porch light sat an old green backpack.
My eyes widened. My body went rigid and I forgot all about the cold air. I was locked on to the backpack, my backpack. She was here*. She knows where I live. How else could it get back here*? Suddenly the distance between myself and the front door seemed like miles. I felt a thousand pin pricks go through my body as I started toward the house, eyes still fixed on the backpack. I approached it slowly, carefully as if it were a wounded animal I was trying to calm. It was definitely my pack, the same pack I had left at the cabin weeks before. I recognized my initials on the front just below a faded Osprey logo, but the pack was in such poor condition, so much worse than how I left it. I had bought it years ago from a used sporting goods shop. It had already seen some serious mileage and I put a couple hundred miles on it myself, but the old hermit must have dragged it through the apocalypse. It was covered in dirt and hundreds of tiny cuts and holes. I bent down to pick it up. Empty. Then I started to examine the pack. There seemed to be some pattern to the cuts, an ornate design that ebbed and flowed all over the bag’s nylon shell. I held the bag up to the porch light.
“What the hell...” I whispered. I opened the top flap of the pack and held it so light could shine through the cuts. It wasn’t a pattern at all – it was words.
FOR YOU THEY WAIT
ONE MOON
I WILL COME
ONE MOON
The words were cut over and over into the pack covering every inch of material. I set the bag down on the porch in utter disbelief. My nerves were deafening, screaming at me to run inside and slam the door. Who the hell was this woman? Had she followed me home?
I turned and looked across the yard again, my imagination now completely in control. Every horror story I’d ever heard flashed through my mind. I was certain the hermit would be standing behind me ready to carve me up and drag me into the woods, part of some ancient blood ritual. But she wasn’t there – no one was. The yard was empty, yet a feeling of being watched would not quit. I continued to scan the tree line, then down the long drive to a glowing yellow streetlamp where the driveway met the main road. Under the light I saw a rounded, hunching shape standing perfectly still. From that distance it was impossible to determine what I was looking at, but I quickly convinced myself it must be a shadow from one of the boulders along the roadway. Then I saw it - a leg moving, creeping sideways. Another leg followed it, long and bare, the dark hunch now slipping out of the light. The shape paused for a moment, then skittered swiftly into the darkness.
Holy shit, what the fuck,” I cried out. “You better get the fuck out of here!”
I tried to sound tough and angry, ready to defend my home, but all that came out were the heaving yelps of a man turned frightened boy. Keeping my eyes set on the yard, I backed slowly through the front door. The green pack still sat under the porch light. I left it there - I didn’t want that thing in the house with me. Inside the house I switched off all the lights and pulled a flare gun down from the kitchen cabinet. I sat at the kitchen table, staring out a window over the lawn. Hours tumbled away, one after the other, and the outside world was still and quiet. My adrenaline faded, replaced with overwhelming exhaustion. Eventually in the early hours of the morning I moved to the couch and shut my eyes.
* * *
Part 1 of 2
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